Our Overflowing Cup

feels like its been awhile

2012-02-07T21:56:00.000-06:00

Organizing pictures tonight and enjoying the everyday simple treasures found here. Some serious randomness following...

Cuddles on the couch. Or trying too, even when she only has eyes for my coffee cup.

Things have not been only about xcountry skiing, although that seems to be my favorite thing. Sometimes its the downhill skiing too:) Even I went the other night. Girls night out to the ski hill. I was nervous, I haven't skied in years and I had Ian's equipments, such long skis...But I remembered how and had a great time! So beautiful to see the lights of town at night from up there.

Kellen had his first race, which he wasn't overly enthused about. He's told me he doesn't like his class, cause he'd rather just ski fast with dad. yet, at the race there was no speed whatsoever. He was the most careful skier out there. Definately wasn't going to crash. It was cute though. And we'll see, it's a new experience this year...

I said random, didn't I?

It's a robot in case you didn't know. Super fun spontaneous project with the kids for an afternoon.

Oh, the joy of wearing big sisters sweater! She often lets me know she wants this one out of the closet for her to wear. So cute!

Cardboard often pulled out of the recycling and glue pulled out of the cupboard. he's growing up i saw, when he thought to put something under it so he didn't get glue on the floor!

why not get dressed up as a princess and then walk around on pot lids??

Evening excitement, digging out the dinasour bones from the dinasour egg. didn't know that stocking stuffer grab would absolutely make them over the moon to practice being palentologists!

Such little happy memories.

Happy tonight that I've got a cake made for Lanelle's birthday tomorrow. Planned the day's menu with her. Looking forward to celebrating her!

zero degrees

2012-02-02T23:37:00.000-06:00

On a January winter day in Sasktachewan, I don't know why we wouldn't take full advantage of a zero degree day. We get our hot chocolate ready. Because this girl would be horrified to not have her special drink on a winter outing.

We get our skis and the chariot ready. We marvel at the amazing sun and its beauty in this white wintery scene.

We take good care of the passengers of the chariot. Making sure the littlest one is comfortable, because she always falls asleep within minutes. And that the bigger one has snacks to go.

We are a little sad when the truck comes into view after the last corner and the adventure is over, for today.

Growing

2012-01-26T22:19:00.000-06:00

Sitting here in peace (finally) and enjoying fresh, warm banana chocolate chip walnut muffin(s). Thankful for another perfectly beautiful day. Thankful for a last minute phone call to adventure to the beach. Lanelle almost refused to go when I told her that "no, we will not be swimming!"

Neve, the big 1 year old walking girl now, walked on her knees (that bulky marshmallow suit is really hard to walk in) over to her big sister at the swings. I loved seeing how patient and determined she was to get there by herself.

Love watching her during this stage of so many changes. Not necessarily enjoying how she is learning to assert her will very loudly. Or how she is refusing to sleep. But, the interaction I had with her in her silly mood this afternoon was so much fun. We played with a ball, which kept her giggling hard. We read books (wow, she loves to read.) She played peek-a-boo and "I run away, you chase me". So much fun! She's been making a very close bond with Angela and let us know at the school reading program after school today, that she would rather be with Angela and didn't want to leave with me! I hear her crying again now, and think I may just go drop her off over at her new best friends house!

26. crawling out of bed to a waiting crockpot with steelcut oats, last minute accepted invite to walk to the beach, warm banana muffin comfort

cultivating skiing love, maybe?

2012-01-25T22:25:00.000-06:00

Kellen would rather downhill ski, but that just doesn't work for me and all the kids. So, when I really needed to get out one afternoon, I loaded up the x-country ski gear. I yelled until we all managed to get in the truck. Then I remembered to try make it fun, so they would like it.

Kellen found the maps at the start of the trail. This was so incredibly exciting, it made the whole trip worthwhile. He pulled it out of his pocket and referred to it several times so that we wouldn't get lost. Not that there could be any possibility of such on the 1 km section of trail we managed to cover.

We barely made it out of sight of the truck when they were begging to stop and have the hot chocolate. I encouraged us a little, but not much farther.

Despite having to stop every 100m to rearrange something or help someone, my soul was soothed just from being outside on a gorgeous afternoon and taking in the beautiful scenic trail.

I did a (pretty) good job of letting Kellen have an adventure, instead of worrying about getting very far. And we played for awhile in the trees and the field beside the parking lot while we waited for Ian to join us after work.

While we waited, I made plans to come the next morning when Kellen was in school. To see how far I could get without a little skier slowing our train down.

And was it ever a beautiful morning that we got to enjoy. We definately got to see more of the trail, but Lanelle decided she should get to ski too. So, I kept my patience while putting on the skis and taking them off again to resettle her in the chariot (repeat, repeat, repeat...) and remembered I'm hoping to let them grow their love for skiing. It's, or should I say, I'm, a work in progress.

i'm not failing the joy dare, but since I haven't been here so much, I'm not going back into my handwritten joy list just to type them here, just so you know :) Just trying to get to my knitting sitting beside me...

24. gorgeous blue sky, lovely ski swishing sounds on amazingly still morning, older daughter in her own world enjoying making trails through snowy field.
25. amazing warmth on a January day walk, a boy who wants to capture EVERYTHING on his camera during said walk, churning chaos of kids on lap and couch while trying to read bedtime book (such crazy fun!)

Happy 1st Birthday Neve!

2012-01-22T22:10:00.000-06:00

Dear Neve,
So much fun to celebrate your 1st birthday this weekend. Kellen and Lanelle love to be excited about your new things (like walking!) and they were super excited that you turned 1 year old! Kellen asked what words you will start saying now. Whenever he has asked when you will start talking, we tell him you'll talk when your 1. I think he thought you will magically start talking on your birthday. You do say a few things: mama, dada, banananana, nell...and you parrot some words. Like tonight when I threw you up in the air and you wanted more. I told you to say "up" and then I would. You said it perfectly.

You walk like a pro now. And you LOVE to do the stairs. You love books, especially Brown Bear. I love how you giggle when I start to read to you. You love the old toy phone whose eyes wiggle when you pull it across the floor. You love carebears, and suck on their noses. You like bathtime very much. You head for the bathroom quickly when you hear the water. You really dislike toques, hats, or hoods. Oh, they make you so furious. Getting diaper changes make you pretty mad too. You like to be where your brother and sister are. If they are downstairs and you're not, you let me now how mad it makes you by standing at the gate and shaking it hard while howling. You are so fun when you wake up in the morning and clap, clap, clap, and babble your happy sounds. I love your smiling face beside me in the morning.

you ate your whole iced pineapple muffin at the birthday party!

You act pretty serious when others are around. But, when its just us at home, you are just a big goof. I like your sense of humor already. Like when I asked you for a kiss, and you turned up your nose and ignored me. Then, you turned and leaned in with your forehead and bonked my forehead, and you laughed! You make me laugh when you take food from my hand, and then put it into my mouth - you think its so funny to feed me. Tonight you were making yourself giggle, sticking out your tongue and playing with it. You are so cute.

We are so thankful for you and all the joy you bring to our family. You are so very loved by us all.

Living the trivial

2012-01-12T23:36:00.000-06:00

Sometimes when I stop by this space, I am struck by how trival it is here. But, sometimes I am struck with how vastly deep this simple life of mine, of ours, really is. As I search for where to start tonight, and that feeling comes over me, I think about inasmuch. Her words caught me at the right time, when I needed to be reminded that the mothering and homemaking are so far from trivial. Living in joy and thankfulness and communion is, well, I want to say, powerful. Pausing and savoring the moments of brother and sister building Legos is beautiful. And my heart skips beats watching them savor a crazy warm day in January when they take the neighbour's idea to try sail a boat in the moving water. I know they will remember this afternoon where joy was beaming on their face.

A trivial joy of mine is seeing this bag sitting in living room. Perhaps the object could be considered trivial, but I do think its gorgeous! But what's inside are memories and treasures, to know these knitting needles were held by my Grandma and this little bits of half finished projects and skeins were worked with her hands. Those dreams to keep my current working project in here, just hasn't happened yet, because it just hasn't seemed right to dump the current contents out. Some quiet afternoon I'll have to sit with it and move things out of it with thoughtfulness and prepare it to hold some new projects.

I'm growing with this joy dare I've taken. Things seem somehow calmer. So, I think I will just keep adding to the list the little trivial things that are really so far from trivial.

7. kisses, forgiveness, smiles
8. moon behind pines, laughter at crazy hair, glimmer of the moon travelling on railway tracks,
9. connection with friends and sister holding the receiver, him purusing cookbook pictures
10. sun glowing, baby toy jingling bringing smiles, pen recording,
11. words that dig, supportive friend hugs, words that build
12. the promises that keep eyes upward, this house being our HOME, love being shared with smiles
13. washer humming, sewing machine whirring, music joyfilled

A Joy Dare

2012-01-06T21:23:00.000-06:00

Reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where you Are was definately one of the best things for me in 2011. I sporadically recorded gifts in various journals and bits of paper, but never got in the habit. I saw yesterday, her Joy Dare and I didn't even have to think about it. I was doing it, because I know its what I need. And, recording it here, well that will just make me do it. So I begin my 2012 gratitude list. I know its going to be beautiful because they are so many blessings.

1. for looking, for growing, for loving

2. ski trails, thriving ivy, figs

3. "your my best brother ever", "this is the best adventure ever", "I love you"

4. Grandma's knitting bag gifted, Star Wars Lego, solitude

5. aholyexperience, Norweigan style knit dress, kids playing outside

6. knitting needles, leftovers, memories of child stories

As for realizing I can make a lucet cord without a lucet fork but a large bbq fork instead, I'm sure it can make the gratitude list somehow.

Ski Joy

2012-01-05T23:12:00.000-06:00

I've written a few posts here, but they've been abandoned, because they end up more negative than I want to be. I find it a hard place, when I want to be joyful and thankful, but also authentic and real. And lately, everything thing just felt hard. Writing it just felt like complaining.

This week I've been x-country skiing. 3 times, 3 days in a row. I think that is already more than last winter. Feeling at the end of my rope, I told Ian one night that I WAS going skiing the next afternoon. The day after my first ski, I got the chance to take Anna from Estonia skiing. Today, I got to try out my new ski attachment for my Chariot. Me and the 3 kids managed to go skiing. Amazing!

I've learned or been reminded of some things. I REALLY need to make sure I do things I love, to get some sun and fresh air, and exercise. Like magic, life just don't seem so hard.

And, from this lovely lady, I learned to be a little braver. To try to do more than is comfortable. Decide to lose some fear. I haven't been down the Ermine trail marked with a black diamond since my first year skiing here when I quickly wrote it off as ridiculous. I told her what it was like and that I don't go there, and the look in her eye let me know she wanted to go. So, I said, let's do it. From the top of the valley to the bottom, I travelled laughing out loud while sitting on the back of my skiis, dragging myself to slow down before a corner. Yes, being crazy brave brings so much fun.

Of course, going down, means you have to get back up. Thankfully, it was mostly a lot more gradual. When it did get ridiculously steep, I stopped and said this is when I usually take off my skiis and walk. But, if you can do it, go ahead and I'll kept my skiis on too. A challenge she said she wouldn't refuse. Oh, yes, I like her spirit. So, we trudged slowly. Skiis in a big V. My arms working hard holding myself from sliding backwards. She stopped once and looked back. "Are you ready to walk?" I asked. I love her reply. She doesn't like to give up.

I thought about how much I've announced to myself lately that I just have to give up for now, on figuring out how to do things I like, on accomplishing more in my day... And, I felt a changing. A new spirit emerging. I think I'll claim her statement and keep it close to my heart. I've chosen to give up desiring perfection. But, somewhere along that good journey, it maybe got confused with a switch to giving up. I felt the load lighter and the sun brighter. Just because I'm chosing to not focus on the accomplishing and end result, because it always gets in the way of joy, doesn't mean I don't be purposeful about the journey of each day. With a Not Giving Up attitude and a Joy in Every Moment outlook, I think there is balance in the accomplishing and the flexibility and the fun. It felt good to have sun shining on face as we reached the top and feel the rhythm of the glide and kick again.

So when my trio and I headed out this morning, and the 2 older were being miserable, I managed to still keep the joy and not give up on it being an amazing morning. Lately, I would have been losing my cool with their bad attitudes. Once the ordeal of getting all the equipment loaded and kids buckled in, I even managed to make it back in the house for a thermos of hot chocolate and a bag of snacks. And my blood pressure still felt normal :)

And once on the trails, they were won over with this idea adventuring, and declared it the best day ever. I was delighted with how the chariot ski setup works. Even when Kellen declared himself too tired to continue and I said grab on and make a longer train, it was still fun although a little slow.

So thankful for the joy of skiing and moments of awareness and clarity from the experience.

New Years Eve

2011-12-31T21:30:00.001-06:00

The plan was to wake up and quickly get off for the Muirhead farm. Ian was in a hurry to get there for the last day of bird hunting. But, Kellen crawled into my bed with a complaint of being hot and his body hurting. So, we change plans, only Daddy & Lanelle head out the door and the rest of us are having a quiet day at home. That is, a day of movie watching for him with advil, and a clinging fussy teething baby on me. This is my New Years Eve. A couple of times Kellen has declared it the best day ever, because I made him an applesauce dessert with yogurt and cinnamon after a leftover chicken mustard sandwich and because we made a blueberry smoothie for snack. And, he said cause it's special that its just us.

I also am enjoying the slow, quiet day. Catching up on the laundry that seemed never ending, cause I hadn't seen the laundry room without at least a few piles of laundry. I only have one more load to go, to be able to declare I'm laundry free, though it will likely only be for a few hours. Getting the lucet cord done, finally, for Neve's wool pants that I made ages ago. If I can get the few things on my priority cleaning list done and perhaps pull out the felting kit I purchased in PEI, I think my New Years Eve will be the best. Does that make me pitiful? Sometimes the way I crave solitude makes me feel, well, weird I guess. I have to remind myself of the article I read a bit ago, which said moms with young children need the most time alone because of the craziness of the stage of life. It really refreshes me, to have moments of solitude, so although it might be strange to be alone tonight, I'm going to just enjoy.

My feelings are a little mixed right now, as I feel so blessed, but heavy-hearted for others. Almost guilt. Why does Kristal have to bring in the new year in a hospital bed waiting for surgery and her infant son in a cast in another city, while she has to worry about her mom? Why do first time new parents have to crash into confusion, worry, and sadness when their newborn baby has a stroke? I am thankful for tonight, yet so aware of this fallen world we live in with pain and sadness. Praying God blesses these 2 families with health and healing this New Year.

Oh, dear.

2011-12-30T00:35:00.000-06:00

I'm reminded tonight of how much we take for granted. Safety while we travel. Our life as it is. Our time with each other. While I am so thankful my dear friend and her family are all alive, my heart hurts for her. My heart aches for a mother who can't be with her baby. A baby now with a broken leg. A mother who waits for surgery and has a long road ahead to recovery. The worry for her own mother who has not yet woken up.

It's late and I am just piddling around. Not feeling soul settled at all. Everything is not all right. Yet there is nothing I can "do". So, my wandering brings me here. I pray for her and for blessings of peace and comfort.

I am reminded to treasure our moments. Life, and life as we know it, are fragile. I'll do what I do here, I'll treasure moments.

A great jewel hunt with friends and neighbours.

A father's help

Cousins together.

Aunties and babies.

Community.

Children & their Christmas excitement!

Boys who believe there can never be too many Legos!

Father and son farmers who love combines.

Family togetherness.

Silly meat loving girl.

Crisp air and sun on the face.

More jewel fun.

Proud builders.

So many little memories that fill my heart full. So many moments where I know I smiled.

Counting happy moments doesn't feel right when I think of my friend. I hear though that she is counting her blessings. I know her journey is rough right now, so if you pray, will you say a prayer for her?

Solstice Light

2011-12-22T23:54:00.001-06:00

Those are my winter solstice candles. Not a day we've thought much of or marked other years, but we are starting new traditions here. I wanted to know more about what it means and how people celebrate or mark this event. Interest proded with the hearing of knitted solstice sweaters for a mother's crew. Wow, lots of history and cultural traditions around this time. But, I simplify. Find what meaning or truths winter solstice brings into my life. So I tell the kids simply it is the shortest day of the year. Now we can celebrate as the days will start getting longer from this point.

We've taken time for the usual seasonal traditions. We laughed about the little tree Ian came home with. Just being cheap. Defending his choice as if he chose special for the kids so they could reach the top. There was excitement over which decorations were remembered from last year. I remembered the sesame street ones we had growing up, and knowing every year they were the most special. Hmm, I wonder if Mom still has those?

We got to pet the reindeer and chose a few crafts to do at the school's reindeer festival. We were parents encountering our first of many Christmas concerts as we have entered the school world.

It was cute, letter songs and toque hokey pokeys. It was a great night because we got to share it with family and friends. And we crashed a party after, and there was pie, mmm.

But there was something about the night that we shared chili together around our table with just the candle light. It was brought all together and made it all more special. The light highlighting the little bit of green from the outdoors. Brought in to remind that even at the darkest, cold days, life continues.

Although the boy declared it weird to have a fire outside, it was just the right thing to do. To be mesmerized by the dancing lights while we stayed close enjoying the warm.

I read some people like to take time to mark the solstice with silence in the dark. To honor the dark for what it is. A quietening time before rebirth. The laughing and fun that overwhelms the fire time makes me smile. My eyes move to the garden sitting so still and the longing for spring came quickly. The snow forms mountains over the herbs that remain. I'm thankful for the summer we had, thankful for my silence-lacking season of life, moving to choosing soul quietness.

Thoughts move to the promise of hot chocolate, popcorn, and apples. The kids declare this the absolute best day ever. They perhaps think of it so for many reasons. For me, I am just thankful for the time. For the marking. For chosing to be still. For chosing light. For traditions, because the days do change quickly and their shadows make them look so big. The thoughts I try to bring of dark and light just mix together. I don't need to share more with them, there will be time. More concerts, more sharing, more soul quieting, more fun, more solstice marking times and changes.

I haven't been able to answer yes to the question. You know, the one of readiness. Things aren't ready for Christmas in my life. But, after this, our best night, I am, because there is so much to celebrate.

???

2011-12-19T22:51:00.000-06:00

Where would you hide if you were a camera cord?

Isn't it wonderful to know you are just where you are suppose to be?

What has happened to this month of December?

Aren't friends who offer a helping hand the best?

Can't there be enough snow for some cross-country skiing already?

What happens when a kid swallows their tooth?

Is Christmas really only 6 sleeps away?

I'm not done buying gifts yet, am I?

Can a calm spirit make up for holiday unreadiness?

Will I ever get over this sleep deprivation?

Can I remember that memories are in the moments?

Can I just remember to be present for the moments?

Will any of our friends join our Jewel Hunt at the park for some holiday memories?

Is it weird that I got choked up the Christmas Concert when I sensed community togetherness?

Will I find lots of knitting moments?

Can I just close my eyes and go to sleep?

Looking Forward

2011-12-11T20:27:00.000-06:00

Having a coffee this evening, I'm thinking ahead to the week. I looked at the calendar to prepare. It doesn't really excite me to think about what events are on the agenda, which days are Kindergarten days, which days we'll take in the music program, skating times, library time, or which days we'll try to make at home days and let Neve have her naps (okay, actually that last one does excite me a little.)

But when I thought about what little everyday moments I can look forward to, I felt much more excited about the week. Will we have a walk again, in which a little babe falls asleep and a big sister wants to kiss the sweetness?

Will we have crazy giggly moments with some friends? Moments where we are truly there, not thinking or worrying about anything else. When we can just be our silly, carefree, quirky selves.

Will the boy build more Lego creations which he will want to make a video of the explanation of it all? Oh, yes, I am sure we will have some of that. And, I will giggle again about how he mimicks the language he has heard on other kids lego videos. "And, you'll see over here..." "And, moving along..." "And what makes this so special and unique, is..."

Perhaps we will get caught up on our Tinsel Time crafts, or maybe we won't. But, I'm sure we'll enjoy doing some.

I know I will also see Neve express more of her personality and likes. She is changing and growing so fast these days. She has some favorite things now. We lost her first stuffie she attached herself to. A cute little pink carebear that would make her cuddle in and go to sleep without me! I was so sad when we lost it. But, she replaced it, digging through the basket of stuffed animals one morning, she found another carebear I forgot we had. So amazing to me that she found it, and although it wasn't the same, she had some memory or recognition of it (after more than a week had gone by), and carried it around all morning.

She's also fallen in love with the MP3 player that the older kids had tired of. Ian says its the only thing that makes her happy when she's missing me if I'm out for a bit. She screeches in between songs, thinking its quit, until the next song begins. Oh, Nevey! Have some patience!

And she's going to take off walking any day now. Yesterday morning, she was standing up on the bed in between us and letting go, clapping for herself as she balanced. She looked so strong and stable, we agreed it wouldn't be long now. Then, with Kellen & I out at the movie night she decided to stand up and take 3 and 4 steps several times by herself. Ian missed it and I had no camera to capture the amazing firsts!

So many little memories that make me smile from last week. I know we'll make many more this week. And, I'm glad I took the time tonight to remember to not get caught up in the agenda. I'm preparing for the week differently tonight, by reminding myself to slow down, look for, enjoy, and be thankful for all the little precious moments of our days.

{this moment}

2011-12-09T15:07:00.000-06:00

Inspired by SouleMama

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Lunch recipe

2011-12-01T14:31:00.000-06:00

I've visited with more than one person about healthy quick lunch ideas. Found one I liked today and thought I would share. It came from one of my favorite nutrition sources, the Nutrition Action Health Letter. I think my nutriton professor recommended this in about my first week of grad school. They give quick, clear advice from well done studies, have great recipes, and do a great break down and comparison of food products out there to help people make better choices. Anyhow, just thought I'd throw that recommendation out there :)

Roasted Butternut Squash and Lentils
Cook 1 cup lentils for approximately 20 minutes.
Cube butternut squash and drizzle with olive oil. Roast at 375 for 20 minutes.
Mix together 2 T olive oil, 2 T dijon mustard, 1 T red wine vinegar, 2 T minced red onion, 1 tsp honey, salt and pepper.
Combine cooked lentils, squash and dressing. Top with walnuts.

Yummy, healthy, and quick lunch!

A heart lesson.

2011-11-30T21:44:00.001-06:00

Ian was annoying me. Kind of. Nothing serious. But, the kids were whinning, I was trying to get the tortillas rolled out and in the pan. Lunch was a little late. Instead of helping, he had to stand there and talk about, for no apparant reason, some deals he got on some hunting clothes in the last while. I just wasn't into it. I thought it was pretty clear. But, then this is Ian I am talking about. And, just when I was going to say something, I saw in front of me a heart. yep, that tortilla had suddenly turned into a heart. I tried rolling it the other way. I flipped it over and tried again. Shoot, that heart shape wouldn't disappear. I think the heart shape became even more perfectly defined as I light heartedly scowled at it and willed it to go away. Okay, I will just love. Frustration disappeared. Annoyance melted away. I chose not to share my annoyance with him (although some day he will read this. Sorry, honey. But some life lessons should just be shared. And remembered.) When we remember love, when we focus on it, there's no room in our hearts for ugly frustruations or thoughts, is there?

oh, and the tortillas. The Best Ever.
Mix together: 4 cups flour, 1 tsp salt, 2 tsp baking powder. Add 2 Tbsp lard (yes, I used lard) and crumble it all up with your fingers. Pour in 1 cup water and mix. Will probably need to add up to another 1/2 cup more to get a nice dough. Roll out into about 15 (?) circles. Bake in a dry pan on medium heat for about 30 seconds. It will begin to bubble. Flip and finish the other side for 30 seconds.

I will never buy tortillas again. (Well, I won't want to anyhow, but I suppose I might find myself in a hurry at some point...)

hello, sanity?

2011-11-28T23:52:00.000-06:00

Feeling a little insane around here lately. I suppose that's not so strange at this stage of life. But, I would really appreciate a little more calmness and a little less chaos. I really don't enjoy always feeling behind on all the things I'd like to accomplish or have time for. I realized last night that finding sanity isn't necessarily in managing to check something off the to-do list. Because the laundry still needed to be done, the floors desparately needed a cleaning, and the supper dishes were still sitting dirty at the table. But, I felt more sane after sitting and doing a puzzle with Lanelle. We had fun. We laughed. We praised each other. She told me several times when I suggested a piece and she discovered that it fit - "Yes, you were definately right." And she was trying so hard to use a big word fluidly in her little cartoon voice. Oh, she made me smile.

And I'm glad I just remembered that lesson. Because I googled the phrase "how to get rid of chaos". I thought it would be interesting to see what came up. Even though I pretty much knew what to expect. Although I expected it, I still almost got sucked into the list of 74 things to do to simplify and take control of you life. They did look like great ideas. I think they should have stopped at #1. Write down the 4 more important things in your life. If I tried to accomplish all their tasks, I would not have time for the 4 most important things in my life.

Yea for skipping over the long list of organizational tasks. Because if I attempted it, I might really be insane. Perhaps as was discussed at knitting club the other morning, I should start writing "Already Done Lists." I'm sure I'd feel much better about my day. Today would include: taking the kids skating (which took up the whole morning and did not involve a whole lot of sanity), making the best creamy tomato spinach pasta, washing the floor, doing a puzzle, reading Geronimo Stilton (for the boys reading interest), cleaning up play-doh and puzzles, folding and putting away 2 loads of laundry, making a supper stirfry, dancing with a baby and her music box... Yes, I'm feeling better now.

Appreciating precious moments, making already done lists, and taking the time to reframe things. I'm feeling more joyful than when I sat down here.

And late at night by myself I might remember to appreciate simple gifts in life, like how beautiful a clean kitchen is and how lovely some stiches are.

Winter Picture Story

2011-11-22T11:52:00.000-06:00

This mama forgot we like being outside in the winter. We were starting to go crazy inside too much. It seemed to hard with a babe that takes off mitts and toques within seconds. Not very Saskatchewanian of you, I tell her. But, we dug through the storage room and found some warmer items that she can't remove. We found the blue baby sled. And we went out to the park!

She stopped screaming after she was moving in the sled. We played musical sleds on our way.

Somebody wants a ride, somebody wants to pull, somebody wants to OTHER sled.

But we made it to the park. The big kids found the biggest hill among the small choices of the park.

This unsure babe, changed her mind about being bundled up. Hmm, it is nice to be outside, eh babe? Especially when there is a fun big brother and sister to giggle at.

So the next time everyone seems a little grouchy, I order us outside to go sledding at the big hill. Kellen says no, it's no fun. I say we are going, so go. He says fine, but if its not fun, then you can't be on your computer for a whole week. Oh, really, I say.

Hmm, looks like fun to me (and I am on my computer after all.)

I couldn't get a picture of lanelle sledding. She decided she wouldn't go down the BIG hill without mom. Kind of glad she decided that, because I had so much fun! Neve did end up protesting a lot about being left alone (or so I thought that was the problem). I'd sprint back up while the big kids slowly made their way up. Soon though, I realized , as she tried desperately to move her super bundled body over to the sled, that she was mad because she wanted to go. So, I took her, and she LOVED it! Oh, Neve, are you a thrill seeker already?

Bountiful

2011-11-14T23:26:00.000-06:00

It was far from a perfect day. Not a terrible day though. Lots of good things happened. A large pumpkin delivered to our door. A phone call with a neighbour and plans for coffee. Play with friends after school. A new laptop played with :) Wireless set up. So fun. But, I was feeling pretty grumpy about a few thing. The house turns into a disaster so quickly unless I am giving it seemingly constant attention. Fussy kids drive me nuts. A sleep-fighter babes. It is what it is, I try to tell myself.

You know why it really bothers me though? When I was sitting on the couch after supper with a cup of coffee with the sounds of the big kids laughing together and the babes crawling around on the floor, I felt a heaviness thinking about what they will remember. Will Lanelle remember when I yelled at her? (seriously though, she fussed and whinned at me for 30 minutes - straight. I said I would not listen to her until she stopped and she never did until she went to her bedroom crying - after I yelled). Will Kellen remember those conversations he has surely overheard between Ian and I when I whine about the kids driving me nuts?

And suddenly I was given this song that I haven't heard in ages, but it made my heart smile. And it reminded me of Ann Voskamp's eucharisteo. So I searched for a video of Peter Mayer singing "Bountiful" without luck. I'd love for you to hear it. But, here are his words. And I should tell you that when I heard him sing it at the little coffee house someplace in South Dakota, he told us he wrote it for his mom.

Bountiful

You don’t just say grace
Before you dig in
You stand and dance and sway
Around the kitchen
And feast your eyes, astounded by
What you’ve been given
Before you even
Sit down
In Bountiful

And when you allemande
With the pans and the cupboards
You lapse into a trance
And dance like a lover
Till dinner time has slipped your mind
And you can’t recover
Like a drunkard
Stumbling around
In Bountiful

And when you fold your hands
You laugh
Because the words escape you
So when you pray
You shut your mouth
In Bountiful

Tonight while reading over at Emerging Mummy I found exactly what I was feeling! I love it when someone with words happens to explain just what I am thinking and feeling. I want my tinies time to be beautiful. To be memorable. To be something that brings smiles and warmth when their adult selves remember these times. And I hope they remember Bountiful.

I wish the song described me. There are moments I know it. Will they remember how I smiled when I popped open a jar of our borscht? Will they remember marveling over the seeds that grow? Will I have taught them Bountiful?

I have found eucharisteo tonight. I will remember bountiful in the morning. When I dish the steel cut oats from the crockpot into our bowls. When I sit with them and talk about our wishes for the day. When we sit and read. When we go outside. When the house is messy. When there is laundry to be folded. Even when they fuss at me. I will practice eucharisteo. I will dance. And, I hope they remember.

Random bits.

2011-11-14T14:26:00.001-06:00

It's really a new season around here, the snow seems to change the feel of things quickly. I think my autumn decorations arrived to late, and its time to think winter. Blah, blah.Ha, I don't feel I have a lot of purpose here at this moment. This day just is. Not feeling so inspired, just getting by today :) But I want to make Mary happy! :) (so you better leave a comment for me, please!)

Sometimes when I sit down to eat, the colors just catch my eye and I feel I have to take a picture. I haven't really thought it that odd, until we had a friend of Kellen's over. The super puzzled look on his face when he asked me what I was doing made me laugh. Mostly at myself. I guess it is a little strange.

And he didn't really like my feta spinach salad, salmon with maple sauce, or oven baked red pepper risotto. I thought it was delicious and beautiful.

I took this picture when I was alone :P The smell of the drying sage caught my attention. Wish a picture could capture the smell of this.

Free preschool skate times have started up again. We've only taken advantage of it once so far, but the kids loved it so much. They surprised me how they just picked up from where they were at last year. Made me only mildly guilty to see Kellen having so much fun and realizing he might love hockey...Anyhow, reminds me I'd better sign him up for skiing right away.

New haircuts and they love them. Kellen never wants long hair again he tells me. And he also told me how he loves that his hair doesn't even move and get in his eyes when they do gym warm-up songs!

New look of my landing. Sigh, a big thing winter brings that I could do without. Not a fan of the pile of stuff, WET stuff.

New place I find Kellen playing Lego (and where I also find myself stepping ont it!) Smart boy found a place where the baby can't bother him. Ha!

Same old place I find Lanelle. Doing puzzles. New to her footed pajamas found in a hand-me-down bag were worn for 24 hours straight by her, she is in love. And loves to tell me about how each "piece" is attached to each other. The socks, the shirt, and the pants!

\Thrifted Star Wars puzzle I picked up for Kellen. Always done by Lanelle, but enjoyed by Kellen. Found this on my camera and wouldn't have know who had taken it, but the feet gave it away :)

Neve is diving into new foods and textures these days. Even the amount is changing quickly. She's ready to eat and she's letting me know it!

There's some random bits and bites of our life. Hope YOU are having an inspired day!

a lesson...

2011-11-06T22:31:00.000-06:00

So, the story of the lice is out. I think its gone now, really, I trust it is. The house is cleaner than its been in ages now too! There's a good outcome in all of this, right?! I'll be checking Lanelle's hair daily for any signs of nits. I'm sure there won't be, but if there is I'm still ready for battle.

In the middle of dealing, when I had to ask why, because it helps if a lesson can come out of it. I asked myself what else in life I should be so ready to squash and get rid of from my life. The heard the word negativity. Hmm, sure there is similarity between lice and negativity. Because when we allow it and we think the negative thought, or say the negative thing, it doesn't usually just remain there. One louse that just is, is not a problem. But that louse lays eggs. Negativity allowed in our thoughts and words is pretty likely to breed more negativity. If we allow it to get out of control, it would overtake us and we'd lose the beauty in life. How different would my life look if a negative thought made me gasp in horror and ready myself to battle it?

So, I had the thought and then carried on with life. Guess I needed a reminder that this is a lesson to take note of. Because then a friend shared with me how she actively got rid of negativity in her life. Her life is happier, her marriage is better, and she is thankful for that.

Hmm, I love it when an idea seems to keep coming at me. I'm going to be super conscious this week as I stay on edge, ready to battle the lice, to look for ways squash negativity.

Not Me.

2011-11-05T15:56:00.000-06:00

I think I used to see blog posts being written with the title Not Me Mondays. Maybe? I don't remember. But at lunch today, I found a Not Me Saturday story unfolding in my head.

It was definately not me who rechecked her 3 year-olds head first thing out of bed this morning to see a louse. Hmm, that would mean there are probably lice. No, it was not me who wanted to cry. If I were faced with the situation, I would surely cancel my morning plans. But, I was not the one in the situation, right? I would not have thrown pillows into the dryer, sheets and blankets into the washer, and my daughter into the tub, while dousing her hair in R&C. Or call my running friend to postpone the run time by 15 minutes. I would not talk most of the run about lice, because surely I know there are better things to talk about.

In such a situation I would not return home, with 30 minutes to eat, change loads of laundry, shower, and nurse baby, to run out the door again...because of a knitting club meeting. Knitting club, pfff, not me! I'm not a grandma. I would not be able to forget about a crisis while sharing about knitting patterns, yarn shops, working colors, tension. I would not return home 2 hours later, with a huge smile on my face over the plan to each make the Lotus Bag. No, no, I'm sure knitting could not make me walk with an extra bounce in my step. I am cool.

And if I found myself having lunch alone with my baby after I arrived home. I'm sure I would not make myself a child's favorite lunch. Noooo, I would not make myself a grilled cheese sandwich. And I would not reach for ketchup. I am not a child. And, if I had seen a cheap bottle of wine in the door of my fridge, left there from trying a pasta sauce recipe the other week, I am sure I would not pour myself a glass. I have great taste in food. I would not have the cheapest wine ever, grilled cheese sandwich and ketchup for lunch, dreaming of knitting and cursing lice. I am really not that strange and pitiful.

Reflections of More

2011-11-01T15:15:00.000-06:00

***Okay, be warned, this is random and I'm sure disorganized, but it spewed out and now its time to run to do Kindergarten pick up. No editing has been done or will be done. My apologies. Hope you follow :)

I'm trying to fold the mountain of clean laundry, but really its not feeling so fun. I'm feeling inspired to greater things. To being an answer. Thanks, Janelle for the opportunity to reflect. Reality seems though that I will just do more dishes, diapers, cleaning, dealing (or is it disciplining, sometimes I'm not even sure)... So why dream about a life of more? I know there are glimpses. Sometimes as simple as

a new finished project!

Or sometimes when we don't worry about pumpking carving or costumes when that's what is on the agenda and instead we take a bike ride to the beach. Because it was requested to have a picnic and it may be the last one of the season.

And then the Dad that said no thanks to the cold and windy beach, decided he might be missing out. The excitement when he comes brings smiles all around.

And the little corner gets something a little seasonal added. And owls are involved.

Then I remember that we may be experiencing the more.

And, I'm not really that stuck, because I am reaching and learning and being awakened.

The new book arrived and I'm picking which one I want to knit first. I'll have to resist buying another book, but this may have the absolute cutest patterns I've ever seen.

We may have not put in much effort on the costumes, but they got out and had fun in the end. Ironman almost wouldn't wear the costume and I think the negativity from this boy might drive me mad. I've started searching for ideas on how to deal with a child's constant negativity. I might try this book.

I think being an answer in the world right now, is to search harder and to pray harder about how to raise this boy to be stronger than he knows he can be. I know it will take courage to shake off the frustration of it and do it will more grace. Oh that reminds me of this article, about being a Velveteen Mother that made my heart grow and my eyes moist.

I'm learning to accept that I can't control him (but I WILL learn to work with him). However, I've decided its time to take control of this room. There's inspiration, but the difficulty in even getting into this room seems to end the ideas before they've been able to bloom. It was yesterday's and today's and probably tomorrow's project. Although the work in here has begun, the interuptions are many and progress in slow. That's okay because we are moving forward and we are experiencing more.

Randomness about There and Back

2011-10-21T17:45:00.000-06:00

I went to Halifax, Cape Breton, PEI. I saw beautiful reds in the leaves and in the earth. I heard the ocean, felt the wind, got wet in the rain. Enjoyed the best mommy-vacation possible for now (Neve the nurser came too) . No complaints though - 1 is easier than 3! Plus wonderful Auntie Andrea to help with the 1!

Leaves on Lover's Lane at Green Gables

Farm on Cape Breton

a misty view of a Cape Breton village

Cape Breton view again :) On our way to Celtic Colours!

first view of PEI from ferry

PEI

Halifax

I did miss the hugs and kisses from the big kids. I didn't miss the fussing, whinning, the requests, the bedtime busyness, the mealtime chaos. Neve travelled like a pro and I truly felt relaxed, rested, and peaceful.

We ate good food. Lots of good food. Like the scallops at jane's on the common or the seafood chowder at The Red Shoe Pub.

Andrea at the Red Shoe Pub

Undoubtedly the best meal was at Cape d'Or. The freshest lobster ever. We were given a rock to help us eat it :) Such a fun experience. I may be back to the mountains of boring laundry now, but I smiled while throwing in the jeans drizzled with the lobster juice!

If I could have changed the weather just one time on the trip, it would have been while we were at Cape d'Or. The wind was CRAZY the night we arrived. I found the windows rattling from the wind off the ocean relaxing and fun in the cozy guest house, until I wanted to fall asleep. Then it seemed to get louder. I hoped and prayed for nice weather to grace us the next morning for some exploring, but it was rainy, rainy. I got to snap a few pictures in the misty, drizzly morning before the real hard rain came. Though disappointed as we headed off, I could only choose joy, because really what could be better? I was being driven along the coast in Nova Scotia, enjoying beautiful scenery (knitting some, of course) and Neve continued her usual good-in-the-car sleep in the backseat.

Today I wish I could find some of the peaceful quiet I experienced on the trip. Oh, my. Sick kids. Fussy kids. A bored kid. Baby needs. So easy to get frustrated again. I can't seem to achieve much. Definately not any coherant thoughts here. I have sat down here at least 30 times, only to be called away within minutes. Sometimes only seconds. Its a little harder to chose joy now. Especially with the crazy sleep disruption and deprivation. I thought I would quickly make a copy of the pictures to send to Andrea and blog. Then, move onto the other 30 things I would like to have done. One beginning goal for the day and still not accomplished as we near the end of the afternoon.

But really, today I have 3 beautiful children, a comfortable house to raise them in (minus the dirt and mess, oh, I shouldn't even mention it though, because that's ruining the point), and a husband who gets off work at a decent time, and who comes home and helps with the craziness. I should see joy and thankfulness for so many things. Everything. Simple things. A washer and dryer to deal with mountains of laundry with ease. The best cheese sandwiches ever (mmm, fenugreek gouda from Nova Scotia) and yummy tomato and avocado salad. The choice I made that day on Cape d'Or I can make right now, to look past what I wish were different and choose to see the good. Oh, I am trying.

And, it always helps to remember the little bits of goodness that I find everywhere (if I'm looking!)

Cuteness on the ferry to PEI

beautiful b&b - Victoria, PEI

giggling at trying to enjoy sunset on super windy evening

sheep on Cape Breton farm where I bought my wool blanket *happiness*

tour of Belfast Mills on PEI - yes, I love wool *grin*

picking wild raspberries

picnic at a Cavendish beach

happiness in the newly finished puple sweater

and more happy sweetness

learning history at Pier 21

acorn love! oh, the uses I have in mind for these treasures
like hats on felt animals, mmm, yes fun!

What a disorganized whirlwind recap that was. Just a glimpse into some of the joys of the trip. Which I will recall as needed, in the chaotic moments around here, which will only increase - did I mention we officially have a new crawler in the house?!

Life is Fun.

2011-10-09T21:57:00.000-06:00

Kids have such a great sense of fun. Everything can be fun. Simple things are hilarious. Apple eyes bring great giggles.

I'm going to take my cue from kids. I'm going to keep the fun and excitement huge in this adventure I'll rush into this week. It feels like its rushing up on me and I found myself feeling stressed. Packing, planning, where will the big kids be, how to get Ian organized, will Neve travel well? Phooey, why should I allow this to be spoiled. I won't.

I am so excited for a dream of mine to come true. Tuesday night I'll head into the city to begin the journey to Halifax, and Cape Breton, and PEI! Eeee, that is so crazy that its really happening. And so here I am, committing to squashing any worry I have and enjoying every moment of it with a childlike sense of fun and wonder.

Latest adventure...

2011-10-05T16:44:00.001-06:00

Take a look at my many photos and guess where we were? Super fun to make the kids feel like they were a part of the hunting trip with Dad and Grandpa. They also had so much fun with Grandma Mary. Reserve may not have a playground, but the railway tracks work just as well :) First thing when we woke up, the kids wanted to go collect "treasures" (rocks and steel) and what an adventurer Grandma was for them. She also taught them about what happens when you leave pennies on the track.

Kellen decided we should go back in the evening and have a rock collecting contest. Funny, he wanted to win the most rocks collected, but he said his little neck hurt carrying his heavy bag of rocks and Mom had to carry them most of the way. He learned about some of his rocks from Grandpa and Grandma, we'll see if he remembers anything about the types of rock next time.

He also remembered the big ant hill that he'd found when we were here in June and wanted to go torture the ants some more. We found the ant hill pretty much empty, except for a couple we called guard ants. We left wondering what happens to the ants for the winter, do they inhabit the same hill again, or will they make a new one. Anyone know??

One morning I actually got up to see the early rising hunters off. We did not know that the picture would document a day to remember, as they did get their moose. A cow and a calf. Ian said the twin calf came out of the bush too. Ahh, I am not a hunter, because I think my heart broke thinking of the poor little twin calf all confused without his mom and brother. Bill may have posed with a cane for his picture, but I don't think he was thinking about needing it as they pulled the animals out of the bush. Sounded like quite the "fun!" (maybe Ian and Bill will write in their story here...?)

The kids remember our last trip home and the great park along the way, so even though Neve was sleeping peacefully their pleas filled with such desire convinced me to stop and have some fun. Such a beautiful evening. Glad we made more fun memories here. (Kellen made a birthday cake with candles, in case you can't tell ;)

It all adds up.

2011-10-01T22:57:00.000-06:00

I meant to share this series of pictures the day after my last post, but yet again the busyness of the week took over my plans and I just never got to it. Each of these of my sweet nephew Ayden is precious. And, when you put them all together, this series of expressions makes me laugh out loud, hard, for a few minutes. Everytime I look at them.

Not joking, about the everytime. I just scrolled through them 3 times. I'm still laughing.

I'd like to share about my wonderful weekend so far at the Once Upon a Time workshop I attended. I feel like I don't have the energy to share it all. I would have to share a crazy big series of moments just to do it justice. Each moment I share would be beautiful, but kind of like the series of photos above, if I could give you a glimpse of all of them together, then you could see why my heart feels so full tonight, even though I'm exhausted.

Although I won't take the time to do it the justice it deserves, I will just say -

I am thankful for all the ladies at my table that shared their hearts and their stories.
I am thankful for the 3 ladies who had a vision and decided to create the workshop.
I am thankful for the story of my life so far that is full of God's blessings.
I feel renewed excitement about how my story will continue to unfold.

Fall Beauty Randomness

2011-09-26T16:30:00.000-06:00

We have not been hiding out mourning the end of summer here. Oh, no. Its go, go everyday. Pretty easy to get out and enjoy the fall colors in weather like this, so crazy warm it is. We are trying to take full advantage of it anyhow.

We've enjoyed playing at the park with cousins.

We've found ways to entertain the middle child while big brother is at school and little sister is sleeping. Her ballet video is always an exciting choice and its very important to get dressed up for it. If she disappears, I usually find her in the backyard on the swing. She is SO proud she can pump herself!

We got busy and brought in the garden before the one big frost we had. The kids giggled over the funny shape of some of the squash. I was thrilled at how many we did find hiding back there.

We've been testing out several butternut squash soup recipes. Good, but still looking for the perfect one. Next in the lineup, a butternut ginger soup. Also enjoying lots of tomato goodness. They are ripening faster than I expected and I need to quickly get ready to make some salsa and pasta sauce!

I've tried to take back some control of the house that seemed to disappear over the summer. When the craft cupboard doors wouldn't close anymore, I finally found the motivation to help fix this space in a hopefully more permanent way. They each have their own box in here, which I'm going to get them to decorate for easy identification. Instead of a free for all with all the supplies, they are now only allowed to get their own box with a smaller assortment of their favorites. Almost a week later, and the system is working beautifully. Except when Lanelle got into the glue drawer without permission and used a whole bottle of tacky glue on her body. She was a mess, but the cupboard was still perfect :) If I'd thought to take a before picture of the paper explosion in this space, you'd really appreciate the after!

We are all happy the library program is happening again every Friday. And, is it ever happening! Angela is awesome, so its no surprise the attendance is steadily climbing!

Neve is the only one I can seem to get lots of fall pictures of at the park. Mostly I have the backs of the older two running away.

Angela and I loved taking the 3 little girls to the park this morning after school drop off for the older kids. So fun how we both wandered around taking pictures of the gorgeous morning. So glad she asked us to go with her!

Ian said these are Sandhill Cranes that we saw on the way to the farm. He was in a super hurry to get there to scout out where he planned to hunt early in the morning. So, we didn't stay long, but the kids loved to check out the birds with the binoculars.

We almost had to stop until the sun went down. It was as impossible to see as it appears in the picture. He perservered (like I said, he was motivated!)

And, we had as much fun as you can imagine on our day at the farm with the cousins! The older they get the more fun it is to see them get excited about being together. Many more adventure pictures to come of our day there, it was so fabulous!

I'm just loving these beautiful outdoor fall moments. I was thinking about what a freeing feeling it is just to be outside and appreciating it so much, cause i remember how long winter can feel sometimes.

While I don't find it so lovely, Lanelle was loving the feeling of sand on her body, even pouring it down her shirt. Too funny!

Sorry for the randomness, but if i tried to get organized, I might have never accomplished anything here. Hope you are busy having a fabulous fall!

Seasons.2

2011-09-12T23:16:00.000-06:00

Perhaps, I haven't been sitting down here enough with my thankful thoughts. I've had a joystealer around here much too often lately. I can put the blame for this in many different places, but I suppose I should accept responsibility that I let the monster in. No matter what I do, it feels like its never enough. I don't have enough time, I tell myself. But this is the time I have. I know that. I make my choices and I should just be happy. So, why is it so easy to get swept back into the place where I want/demand more time to do all those things I think I must do.

Really, if I could have all those delicious home cooked meals and snacks made, have played joyfully with my kids, have taken the time to teach them all the things I would love to, have a clean and organized house, a beautiful yard, be on top of all the goodness in the garden, done some of the too long ignored errands, made some concrete plans for the renos that are brewing, have enjoyed some exercise, have taken my quiet time, done something kind for a friend, have all my pictures organized and scrapbooked, gotten to create something on my needles, it would have been a perfect day. And, I would just be waking up from a crazy dream.

I think I strive for something impossible. But there are so many people who I think are doing it. Pshaw (is that how I would spell that word I heard my Grandpa say?) Nobody is finding perfect balance with all things in their life (and still finding sanity and joy). Right? Help me out here. I'm not the only one who feels this way, right?

What's that saying I've seen lately? You can do everything, just not all at once. That's the phrase that struck a chord with me. And reminded me of seasons. There is a season for everything, but not all seasons at once. Sometimes I need to be more realistic with the season I'm in with small children. Especially the teething, demanding babe these days.

I don't even need to think as big as seasons. Sometimes I need to just think of days. Today was a laundry and cooking day. So much laundry. Five monster loads all folded and put away. Diapers washed ready for tomorrow. Homemade pasta and pesto, with roasted zucchinni. Squash baked with sausage and tomatoes, topped with bread crumbs. Mmmm. No time for a clean house, but the busy kitchen has been repeatedly cleaned. I even spent 30 minutes on the long since ignored digital scrapbook. The basement tidied. Puzzles with my girl. Cuddles and giggles with the littlest one, plus all her feeding and diapering. We walked the big boy to school and again to pick him up. We brought friends home for a play. It really was a good day. BUT, the monster tried ruining it by pointing out the dirty floors, the disaster craft room and stillness that has existed there for too long, the dust, the upcoming frost and the unready garden. I want to get rid of the monster that steals my joy and makes me feel like I failed the day, but he keeps coming back.

What am I even trying to say? Ha, I think I don't even know! Just sharing this struggle. Talking through it and hoping I can make some sense. I think I'm making headway. It actually seems so silly, really, when I write it out. I think I don't know what the monster is. But, I suppose I do. Yet naming it, means claiming it and I really don't want to do that. Because, I'm not selfish and I'm not desiring something as ridiculous as perfection, am I? Eeee, if I could admit it and understand it, maybe I could make this joystealer stay away. Maybe I would have more experiences when I am just in the moment, with gratitude for all that I do have and am blessed with.

So that's where I'll go (again), to find what I need (again). To counting and naming beautiful moments.

memories of summer picnics

friends and silliness, and laughter

garden goodness

watching and clapping for little fingers learning to pick up cheerios

kindergarten excitement

apple picking enthusiasm and bravery

apples, apples, and apples to share!

joy on the faces of young and older playing games to get rice Krispie square

and the hospitality so gracious

the joy for puppies from the littlest one that brings clapping and bouncing

so much apple goodness

sneaking in a row here and there for a little girl's hat that makes me happy for the rhythm of the needles and reminds me to be thankful for her as I ask God to help her get better and stronger quickly.

Seasons

2011-09-06T23:08:00.000-06:00

I like the idea of seasons. I think I started a post about my thoughts around seasons awhile back and never got around to finishing it. But, I'm thinking about it again as we head into a new season. One involving kindergarten and hunting, as we say prepare to say goodbye to beach days and our garden. Ian was hunting this past weekend, so we all invaded the Muirhead farm for fun. I'm glad the library fits into all seasons of life, because I loved checking out a new to me library and walked away with a ridiculous number of books. Somehow, we got out of the regular rhythm of reading during the summer. I felt like they forgot how much they used to enjoy sitting through several books. But, they stayed with Grandpa for this book about fishing, that I picked up with this moment in mind...

...and it actually happened!

I didn't take any pictures of the mighty hunter. There was no animal to "show off" (I'd obviously never make a hunter. I think I shivered typing that.) But, he assures me his first archery hunting weekend was a huge success because he learned so much and had so much fun. I also got to do my first geocache with the family. A pretty easy location to find, but they cache was super hidden on that tractor and I finally had to decifer the little clue.

Anyhow, back from a lovely weekend and feeling a little behind with life here. We were almost late to get Kellen to his first day of Kindergarten. His muffin for snack was super warm when I packed it for him on the way out the door! I was feeling so last minute this morning, as I was still trying to unpack from the weekend and get organized. I'll give myself a break though, his bag loaded with his supply list has been ready for a couple of weeks now.

Plus, today I was dealing with Neve's sleep issues. I have found with all my babies, there is a wonderful season of easy-peasy sleep before teething. Then I get to THE point where I decide it's time to reclaim some of my time and show them they can fall asleep on their own. So, I listened to her cry for 45 minutes this morning for her nap, as I popped in once in a while to give her a pat. She didn't get too worked up. This afternoon, it was less crying and only 10 minutes to fall asleep. Tonight? I kind of caved. She sounded so horrible as she screamed, so I picked her up and cuddled her until she calmed down. Laid her back down and she screamed her shrill scream, so I held her hand and she quickly calmed down and fell asleep. Yikes, maybe I'm going to just get sucked in to sitting there and holding her hand instead of nursing or walking her. I figure its a step in the right direction anyhow(?). Not that it's that interesting to write about baby's sleep issues, but it so easily consumes my time, my day, my plans, and it seems my life when its bad. I'm hoping I'll have a better sleeper soon.

So, I KNOW we are heading into fall, school, and hunting season, which changes the rhythm around here. I'm HOPING we are heading into a season of sleep!!

Tomorrow I am going apple picking with a friend in the morning and meeting a friend at her beach for the afternoon. I'm feeling like we are in the inbetween of seasons right now. Makes me feel reflective, as I think about what is behind us and what changes and rhythms of coming. I like it.

Beach Sweater.

2011-08-30T23:47:00.001-06:00

Sweater done. Neve tried to not let me finish it. She woke up all evening long last night. Poor girl, I think her incoming tooth is really bothering her. Poor mama who just wanted to knit. But, at the beach today, it happened. I finished the KAL sweater (deadline tomorrow, whew.) I think wearing this during the winter will remind me of summer beach days (and I'll probably find sand in it for awhile).

It's not hard to forgive Neve for being fussy. When she is happy, she is just so cute!

We got to enjoy the beach with some favorite cousins today. And they played, played, and played all day. I hardly had any complaints and very few requests. It was probably our last beach day. Okay, we may sneak some in still if the weather cooperates in September, but with Kindergarten starting next week, it feels like we are moving past summer beach days. Plus the weather forcast for the rest of this week is not hinting at any beach days. It felt kind of sad. We have loved the beach this summer.

I didn't take my camera today :( But I'll bet Angela can hook me up :)

In lieu of todays captured memories being shared, here are my favs from the weekend:

tonight.

2011-08-29T20:59:00.000-06:00

Thinking: about my East Coast trip with SIL Andrea! oh, October, you can come quickly!
Drinking: water :)
Enjoying: Nevey's cute sounds
Hoping: I can finish my KAL sweater tonight
Smelling: Baby's head, mmm.
Watching: Baby Einstein (a first for Nevey)
Wishing: baby had stayed asleep the first time I put her to bed tonight
Planning: to finish my KAL sweater tonight
Needing: a housecleaner, like usual
Marvelling: at my calmness
Looking: at fireplaces on Pinterest
Wanting: renovations to magically be done (before they've actually begun)
Wondering: if Neve would go to sleep for her Daddy
Loving: the idea of a week long vacation from this
Knowing: I best go put Neve to bed so I can get to knitting, because i will finish this sweater by the deadline.

Garden Tour 2011

2011-08-20T21:28:00.002-06:00

Seems to me I haven't been sharing much of my garden this year. At times, I think I've even felt there wasn't so much to share. But, WOW, as I pulled my pictures and thoughts together, I became aware of what a blessing our garden has been this year. This is really the beauty of blogging for me. I would miss things. I love reflecting in this space and remembering to be grateful. Sorry this will probably be long and super random.

So here I started, taking pictures at one end of my garden where more of the flowers are, although they are found in all sorts of places. Our free teddy bear plant the kids got (I tried to move the other 2 when things got crowded and they didn't survive the move. So now, they all share this one).

Californian poppys I grew from seed. I really dislike the price for greenhouse plants. But, it really is hard to be patient for most of the growing season here to finally have flowers.

I'm still a little nervous after last years tomato crop failure to late blight. So, I didn't invest in greenhouse tomatoes. I started these from seed indoors :) I'm inspecting the leaves every day now and haven't seen any signs of disease yet.

Then there's the squash. I'll get a couple, but I'm afraid most are too small yet and the summer doesn't seem like its going to last long enough. Maybe we'll get a super hot September again? I've heard of people eating the squash blossoms. Maybe if I was picking them off the blossoms and letting the other squash grow, I'd be more successful? Oh, I still have much to learn.

Next is this messy looking area full of beans, beets, and potatoes. Mostly beets. The kids are loving beets so I planted lots. Ian and I have been loving a feta and beet salad, but I leave some plain roasted ones for the kids as they prefer. Way at the back is our lone zucchini plant hanging out with the lavatera. I even tried replanting some zucchini and it still didn't come up. Oh, well, I'm enjoying having less than usual for this year.

Aren't these so cool? They're on some of the onions that were planted last year. I'm thinking if I let it dry, I'll get onion seeds from it.

This afternoon, I cut down these 2nd year parsnips and turned them upside down in a pillowcase. The seeds are almost dry and I read that is an easy way to collect seeds. I'm thinking I won't buy parsnip seeds next year. I guess I'd better learn how to store them properly.

Its kind of made my garden look messy as I experiment with collecting my own seeds. I'm learning to be okay with that. It makes me happy to think of growing from my own seeds.

My herbs have been super successful this year. I've stored jars of my own dried oregano and parsley. This might be the favorite part of my garden. It might look like a mess, but its given me so much goodness - thyme, lemon balm, mint, fennel, mmm...

sage

basil

my herb box

My lemon balm ice tea has taken time to perfect, and sometimes I don't plan ahead enough. It's the best if I do it the night before and let it chill overnight. Apparently it helps with feeling calm, with improved memory, and I can't remember the third one. I'm thinking I need to be drinking more of it :)

The kale has been a new thing in my garden and I've been loving it. Kale soup, baked kale, ginger stirfried kale...yum!

The kohlrabi have been better for me this year. I started some early indoors.

This was ready to be picked. Wished I hadn't have decided to wait until the next day...

I'm not sure what ate it, and not sure I want to know. It must have been big. Other than that, we aren't too bothered by pests. A big failure for some reason I have yet to figure out, is our broccoli. 6 plants and only one produced anything - which was the only other casualty of the unknown large eater!! :(

I love these pretty pink flowers...and love to take them inside to enjoy.

I only wish I didn't have to ignore what's around them to enjoy them. I really don't get how so many people I know with kids can possibly have such clean houses.

I turn my back for a few minutes and the've emptied a box of crackers and left it on the table. Pulled out papers, crayons...which entertained for maybe all of 10 minutes. And their off, to make their next soon to be discovered mess. Oh, well, at least I have the garden to retreat to :)

Many of the new recipes I've been trying with the basil, swiss chard, and kale have been from a new favorite cookbook of mine.

Only problem is, I've borrowed it from the library. i've reached my max renewals. I don't think I have a choice but to purchase myself a copy. It's that good. It's got lots of good stories that inspire me. The layout of it is so unique, I've never seen one quite like it.

Anyhow, sorry for the crazy run on post. It's taken about 4 sittings to get it done, which doesn't help with the flow of writing. And, I'm not rereading or editing. I am more full of gratitude, so I can leave it here, as is. If you have any garden advice for me, I'll gladly hear it!

Little bits of happiness.

2011-08-17T15:31:00.000-06:00

It was super frustrating to not be able to move pictures from my camera to my computer since Monday. I was going to post some of Monday's Happiness, but after frustrating attempts I abandoned the post. Yesterday I would have posted Tuesday Blues, because that's the kind of day it was. Besides, I still couldn't get pictures. Today I have spent pretty much all my free afternoon time solving the problem (Kellen is at a library program, Lanelle is happily playing and Neve is sleeping - for a few more minutes hopefully). Today I am somewhere in between Happiness and Blues. I'm at least looking for little bits of happiness to shake off the miserable blues. And while it may be the most simple thing, this mug never ceases to make me happy. And, my computer was slowly uninstalling my camera and I was trying to entertain myself so I didn't become unbearably frustrated.

While diapers probably don't bring much happiness to many people. This diaper brought oh so much happiness to me. I converted a boring rectangle prefold diaper (which leaks way too much) to a fitted, elastisized diaper. Thrilling, seriously. And, a huge money saver.

Paired with my wool diaper cover, I made myself the happiest, although oh-so-tired, mama (after the midnight diaper conversion project).

I am getting excited to make Neve some long woolies as summer is winding down, but first I am finishing this project.

My effortless cardigan. I finished the second sleeve on the weekend. It felt so good to try it on. Now to finish the collar band. I can't wait.

I asked my Dad recently how much he remembered his mom knitting. (She was the Grandma who taught me to knit.) Did she knit while travelling? Was she always knitting? He said not so much, just at home some. But, my Mom pipped up telling me that on her side of the family - my Great-Grandmother knit all the time and my Grandma actually despised knitting because the house would be a complete disaster and she would ignore it all, knitting away her day. Well, I'll try not to be quite like my Great-Grandma as I don't want my daughters to despise knitting. But, there are days, I would certainly be happy to knit and ignore the mess. Anyhow, just a little fun story I thought. However, I hear Miss Neve crying now...

Saturday Reflections

2011-08-13T15:59:00.000-06:00

After a morning enjoyed - a rare quiet coffee visit on the couch with Ian, phone visit with a birthday sister, a walk by the tennis courts to watch Daddy play, on to the farmers market for honey and a kids choice treat (marshmallow squares, of course), being joined by Daddy there for delicious beef on a bun for easy, no clean lunch (yay!) - I am now home alone. Well, I shouldn't forget sleeping Neve upstairs. I feel quite alone. Ian is off picking chokecherries with kids and their friend Ben. And wow, were they all excited about it! I am ready to tackle my disaster of a craft room so that I can manage to get near my sewing machine to try fix up some diapers for Neve. But, the quietness made me want to pause and load up my pictures from the week. And, I found so many favorites. And, I smiled because it was a good week. I love to share it here because I don't want to forget all the good things.

Kellen came up with this project. Had me pick up the paint he wanted. He gathered some leaves. He asked for the biggest paper. He wanted it as tall as him. I wasn't getting it at first. Why do you need the paper to be as tall as you? Oh, he is trying to get his camouflage ready to go hunting. I should have known. I haven't been asked since the making of the paper, to tape his "outfit" together. Whew. The making of the paper really was so much fun, and so pretty.

Kellen is often not interested in doing kids crafts that I would chose. But, if I let him have the ideas, he can stay focussed long enough to finish projects. The robot is his usual request. This time, he was extremely happy with the supplies I gathered for him. Success! I hope I can get Lanelle interested in some different types of crafts. I'm gathering ideas for when Kellen soon will be gone to Kindergarten. Without him shutting down the ideas (which aren't robots, guns or dinosaurs), I think I can expand her interests!

Some might think I need to expand my interests past knitting more often. But really, when there are so many cute things to be made and such beautiful kids to model them! I really like Lanelle's butterfly hat! I'm so happy I tried something new - working with 2 colors and following a chart. Wasn't really that difficult!

I was able to go bike riding with just the girls. So relaxing to not have to worry about where Kellen was. The girls were so happy riding quietly in the Chariot. A little treat that was much enjoyed by me!

Lanelle loved the path that I took her on and begged for us to take Kellen the next day. I hadn't gone so far with him before, or taken him on gravel. But, he did wonderfully and we made it out to a park we rarely play at. Fun to have a "new" adventure spot.

The kids came in from playing outside one morning saying they had a surprise for me, but they needed a flower "pot". When I gave it to Kellen and said I was excited to see the flowers they had picked for me. He was very suprised. "How did you know the surprise was flowers??" Hee,hee! I wouldn't have thought to pop the tops off the marigolds and float them in water, but they look really cool and have lasted well.

These pictures were my extra special gift of the week. I was reading Ann Voskamp (again). I just like picking up her book and randomly reading, because I forget so easily what I have learned from her. So, I read about eucharisteo and taking the time to name the gifts. Finding the gratitude in my life that can change everything. To find the joy in the little moments that will lead me to an "emptier, fuller life."

She wrote about how her camera can be the way to receive the moment with thanks. She was taking pictures of cheese. Then, Neve on my lap was crying and I got up to change her diaper. This was the shadow I saw on the wall. I knew it was the moment for me to stop and give thanks for her and for being her mama. Even when I didn't want to change a diaper. I don't have words like Ann to describe the moment. All I can seem to come up with is, It was the perfect moment full of thanks.

Trip Treasures #4: Laughter and Play

2011-08-13T14:55:00.000-06:00

Sometimes you just have to laugh. I knew as the rain poured in our collapsing tent that we would soon laugh about it. That thought kept me pretty light-hearted about our 2am waking with thunder, lightening, crazy wind and sideways rain. As I tried to hold the sides of the tent up, pull in our luggage to the "drier" middle ground, Lanelle slept peaceful. As I carried her across the campsite to Grandpa and Grandmas trailer in the wind and the rain, she slept. That made me laugh. When the tent flapped and let in a huge dump of water and it landed directly on poor Nevey's face, I didn't laugh. But, now we do. I wonder if she'll like tenting after that first experience?

Poor broken tent, the morning after the storm.

I also had to laugh often listening to the cousins play together. Quite the adventures they make up. This, if I remember correctly, is the ship they made.

The trip just wouldn't have been as much fun if Nolan would not have joined us. They really had so much fun!

What a great big cousin he is, with a great big heart and fun spirit!

Sliding on the World's Largest Dinosaur

We laughed lots with Grandpa and Grandma, especially while Playing Pegs and Jokers too late every night and eavesdropping on the crazy camp neighbours. Oh, the wonderful memories we have. Soon, I'll have to wrap up Trip Treasures, but it really is so fun to savour our trip this way!

Trip Treasures #3

2011-08-11T21:53:00.000-06:00

I invited a guest to share about a highlight of the trip (for some of us). Ian spotted this guy hiding near a campsite. I heard about this moment several times (more than I cared to) during the remainder of the trip. I received many requests to print one of his prized pictures. So I thought it appropriate to share and invited him to do so. Thinking he might have something to say. Apparently he is only wordy when speaking, because this is what he has written for you:

wow 5 yards from a big whitetail buck that don't happen every day.

Fishing.

2011-08-07T14:17:00.000-06:00

Somehow in the middle of all the craziness, when all I feel I do is cook, clean up, change, feed, laundry...we are doing the things we enjoy. On this documented night last week, when I was tired of feeling that way, we loaded up in the car (which that particular night felt like an ordeal) and went through a drive-thru (gasp!). Not that it really changes things, but just for the record, I cut up a garden cucumber and took that along. The kids swam at the beach before we moved over to the favorite fishing spot.

Lanelle may scream and cry and carry on if there is a spider. But when Dad is digging up worms she is right in there. I even have a picture of her pretending to eat one, which I don't really even like to see.

At the quiet of the beach, I was able to reframe things and let go of the frustrations of the day. I saw things in the bigger picture.

And I even felt like laughing again.

And although the plan didn't really work to give me time to really "relax", I did catch a few moments to...

...yep, knit, of course.

Trip Treasures #2

2011-08-06T14:52:00.000-06:00

The last afternoon at Drumheller was spent at the spray park and fountain. I loved watching a very young at heart Grandpa play with his grandkids. I think my Dad maybe even had more fun than the kids. When the time to go call was given, it was Grandpa saying "just one more time!" Super fun!

"Let's Go, Grandpa!"

Trip Treasures #1

2011-08-05T09:47:00.000-06:00

I've wanted to take the time to remember all the special moments from our vacation to Cypress Hills & Drumheller. This morning it seems to be appropriate timing. I need some sanity. Nothing better for gaining some than stopping to breathe and count blessings, right? And finally, I have a re-warmed cup of coffee in my hand, which I made at 7:15 this morning. Not to even be sipped until this moment. Seriously kids, you are driving me nuts!

So breathe, sip, and remember picking wild strawberries.

So tiny but so incredibly delicious.

(Now just imagine the scene of me carrying Lanelle to her bed, screaming, because she wanted the book Kellen was reading. I promise her I'll help her pick out another. Tell her to come out when she's not screaming anymore).

Okay, I'm back here now. With these pictures waiting on the screen...

ha!ha! They may fight, but they are also so sweet with each other. Lanelle was scared and feeling lost in the tall grass on the way back to the campsite. Kellen so sweetly came to her rescue and guided her out. And Lanelle so sweetly thanked him.

I am thankful for the search for wild strawberries and for sibling sweetness.

Tree Fort Grand Opening!

2011-08-03T23:00:00.000-06:00

The tree fort grand opening was a huge success. The kids played hard and my kids were delighted with the evening! Kellen gave a speech - which included phrases such as "there will be fun," "there will be guns," and "it will never break." I nodded and added a few others - "there will be kindness, sharing," to which he added, "and no hitting, pushing, kicking, or being mean." The guests seem to be completely enthralled, but I think they may have been staring at the raspberry popsicles in my hand, anxiously waiting for the ceremony to be over.

We completed it with a ribbon cutting. He even received some special tree fort signs to post - "Private" and "Keep Out". So fun!

And then we moved on to full out crazy playing! The splash pool turned into a great water fight. Those who were not interested in being wet found the bubbles or paper and paint. I think the kids will have great memories from the night!

Oh, and the food was great. Such great color I couldn't resist...

Sometimes things can seem like too much work to me. Planning and preparing. I kind of wanted to pass over this grand opening idea. But, I'm glad I didn't. It was fun just to get together with friends. And, I love looking back already and thinking about what good memories the kids will have from times like this.

I will also have to overwhelm this space with memories from our Cypress Hills/Drumheller trip last week. Another event I kind of wanted to pass over. In this case, wanting to avoid the long travel time. But, so very much fun was had, I can't imagine having not gone!

Kind of the same feeling when I think about getting up for 6am tennis. Yuck, trying to wake up so early this week. But, I am always super glad I did it (even though I confess I've been late every morning). I've even been getting a quiet coffee when I get home before the kids wake up, which is such a treat to me, you can't even imagine!

Anything you dread or drag your feet about? And then end up super happy you put in the effort?

Happy 1/2-Year, Neve!

2011-07-21T22:46:00.000-06:00

Neve, you are growing up much too fast. How can you be 6 months already? You are not a newborn anymore. You are so big. Everyone always comments on how tall you are.

You can not even imagine how much joy you bring to everyone in our house. Your big brother and sister are head over heals in love with you. You get bazillions of kisses every day. You give us bazillions of smiles. Not to mention the incredible giggles!

We love you to pieces...

...forever...

...and always.

And I promise to never put you in a pot again. But you were so cute. Soon you will sit up on your own without a pot. You are so close, but are still toppling over. You now have 2 teeth that popped through this week, just in time to be 1/2 year old. I started you on rice cereal and beef the last couple of weeks. You love food! You are leaning forward for the spoon every time and are slurping it up! I think you are also so proud to be participating in the meal instead of observing us eat. We are so glad you are growing and healthy, its just happening so fast! Happy 1/2Year, Nevey!

Canada Day

2011-07-13T19:39:00.000-06:00

Our new family tradition of running the Moose Jawg was super fun this year. I was happy to run and finish decently despite only going on 1 training run! (5k 29:54) I was more proud of Kellen and Lanelle. They were so excited about their first run - the runt run! I was afraid that Kellen would not be winning or be behind Nolan and decide to quit. So I loved how determined and focussed he stayed right until the end. He told me later it was really hard because his ribs were really hurting. Lanelle did the run with her Dad. (Ha, so Ian can say he ran that day also!) So much pride those golden medals gave them!

I love days with all the cousins. It always brings me reminders of how special times with cousins were growing up. How beautiful to watch them play and know the memories they are creating.

Lanelle and Ariana chasing bubbles

A Grandma's lap is perfect for crawling onto and having a nap during a long day of hard playing.

Although not originally the plan, I was thankful we ended up staying to camp the next night. Campfire cheese sandwiches and more family time. Just perfect!

Think there's any chance of Ian joining me in the 5k next year?

2011-07-11T23:09:00.000-06:00

With all the flooding this year, I was resolved to the idea that there would be no beach days this summer. Although we don't have as many options to choose from right now, we are so happy that Katepwa is open and super nice still. Not much sand to play in, but hey, we are not complaining!

The kids are having so much fun and are really becoming little fish!

Especially Kellen. It's amazing how comfortable he is and how he's lost his fear. He even begs me to throw him in - this from the boy who couldn't stand water getting splashed on his face last year!

So much beauty and happiness at the beach!

Always watermelon! We are taking full advantage of all things summer. Even ice cream, a little too often. While not such a summer item, the hot cocoa helped them brave the chilly morning for their swim lesson. We are glad the forecast for the rest of the week is looking better!

Memory Lane

2011-07-11T09:30:00.000-06:00

I was at the computer sorting through pictures. I have 200 from last week. Oh, dear. I'm getting lost with all the pictures lately. But, I will be thankful, because I forget how quickly they change.

Kellen and Lanelle thought this video was so funny this morning. I had forgotten how fun it was when Lanelle was in her pouring water stage - she is one yr old in the video. She would do it for hours and hours. Just thought I would share our morning giggle.

We have a busy, fun beach week ahead of us for swimming lessons. I'll be packing a picnic lunch everyday. This morning I'll also be packing a thermos of hot cocoa because they are going to be cold when they get out. I'm hoping the sun comes out soon.

2011-07-08T22:07:00.000-06:00

We got to relax in Crescent Park in Moose Jaw. What a beautiful place and a beautiful day we had.

With a wonderful Auntie. Who made this one giggle!

And a super fun cousin. Who is now spoken of as a(nother) favorite cousin by this girl.

This was a couple of weeks ago. But, I was reminded of it tonight when I read about how to find rest over at incourage. We let the kids play at the spray park while we visited, we walked, we ate lunch out, we browsed shops. With only Lanelle, Ayden, and Nevey, it was a break. I felt rested after wandering the streets with my sister, my friend.

Come to the Cabin

2011-06-27T13:39:00.000-06:00

You might feel like you did after you look at all the pictures I can't seem narrow down any further. I think I have 150 just from this weekend.

We headed off in our un-airconditioned truck. Lots of happiness anyhow.

Although its about a 2 1/2 hour drive, this year it seems to take us a minimum of 4. We arrived for a very late supper. Some of us bright eyed and bushy tailed...

Some of us not so much. Not even the smell of bacon would wake up this girl.

So happy to be at the cabin, and especially happy to arrive and unpack before this blew in...

Some of our crew was worried this would put a damper on the outdoor plans. I secretly thought a cozy weekend with lots of books, games, and of course knitting, sounded just fine.

The next morning was beautiful - calm, cloudy, and warm. And I was not disappointed to enjoy these moments.

Although we got the fishing crew out kind of late to have much success, thankfully we got one good sized one to be excited about for supper.

The thought has crossed my mind that we should get a second bike, which I don't think we will, but it would be nice. However, Kellen and I had a great hike (although this mama was a little nervous the whole time about bears). We had a whole lot more interesting things to report when we got back to the cabin.

Did I mention Neve was an excellent little hiker also?

I now have a wrap I would like to sell. I realized I had not brought a sling, wrap or carrier for Neve on the way up, so we stopped at Fabricland where there was luckily a 50% sale going on (otherwise it would have been $80 for 4m of cotton knit! And I would have likely been without a carrier for Neve!) They were so helpful and cut the material down the middle for me - anyone want a red one like I am wearing?? $20!

These are likely my 2 favorite moments from the weekend:

Neve was so proud to be hanging out with her big brother on the porch.

And, I got some knitting time on the porch!

Okay, I shouldn't have tried to pick favorite moments, there really were too many. This was another memorable moment - I realized this man has really relaxed. Everyone was unhappy (well, mostly Neve) on the drive home (even though we had already had 3 breaks) and when I suggested we find a park at the next town, he did. With no complaining about the trip home that keep seeming to get longer and longer. And, he seemed to really enjoy it. I think my heart swelled watching him play like a kid with them.

I hope you had a fabulous weekend also!

what I need (or want anyways)

2011-06-20T21:36:00.000-06:00

Tonight I need a housecleaner. Please, I just want to knit.

Tonight I need to go to bed earlier. Because I would really like to get up earlier. Before the kids. But its really hard when I stay up so late.

Tonight I need to remember how much fun it was to dance to this super song. Not just once, but at least 15 times, in a row. Kellen was still asking for one more time when I headed upstairs to make lunch.

Tonight I need to be thankful that Ian is such a wonderful father and made our family bike ride tonight an adventure, even though I know he was tired.

Tonight I need to be thankful for our dry house while so many are struggling with flooding and water in basements.

our week so far.

2011-06-15T23:20:00.000-06:00

This week has been flying by. Tonight I found myself wondering where the time has gone and how had it slipped away without doing much of anything. Then I looked at my camera and I started remembering.

Oh yeah, we started the week by calling friends monday morning and adventuring together to see if the lake had moved back to give us our beach again. I wondered what would be there, and although there is no beach yet, the playground is no longer under water. Yay!

She swung. (Her favorite thing, its never enough.)

And Dominque built.

And they climbed. A little adventure was the perfect way to start our week.

Kellen came home from his afternoon at Pre-K with his scholastic order and HAD to dive into his new dinosaur activity book.

The volcano painting was too fun and he just couldn't quit adding more paint. He had to mop it up. And add more paint. mop. paint. repeat. (no, he did not want another paper, "THIS is the best painting ever!")

Lanelle was sticking with me and blowing the orange paint onto our picture. We had a great exploding volcano. She didn't want to quit blowing, so she got herself some water and made her own version of a volcano.

Tuesday we enjoyed playgroup at our house. Kellen had soccer practice and we stayed and played on the playground after with friends until WAY past bedtime.

This morning we had a special breakfast.

I don't think I've ever eaten oatmeal outside in the morning. We plan to do it again, maybe regularly, because it was the best start to the day. We watered the garden. We read 12 books on the swing (really), and we talked about each one in detail. And, check out Lanelle's shirt, I finished sewing her flounce top yesterday.

And somewhere in there, I finished knitting this romper and did the dreaded button sewing tonight.

Hmmm, and I felt this week was slipping away on me. Too many fun things have been going on here to think that!

Neve's Quilt

2011-06-10T15:25:00.000-06:00

It's been busy around here, you might not know if from the messy kitchen, the unfolded laundry or the untidied house. But...

Neve's got a finished quilt from Grandma, just like her big brother and sister.

And I *think* I could now make one on my own.

And, the kids really enjoyed having Grandma come for a visit.

Flowers and Fun

2011-06-07T13:56:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was such a beautiful day. We were off to the greenhouse at about the same time we had been rolling out of bed last week. I absolutely love walking into a greenhouse - the colors and the smell, wow!

I was so impressed with how much attention and help we got (afterwards I thought maybe it was to make sure the kids weren't running wild, but she didn't make me feel like that at the time. It seemed like genuine interest in the kids.)

The kids were so excited to pick out their flowers, but the suckers and the teddy bear plants they were given really made it an over-the-moon kind of exciting adventure.

Sophisticate

2011-06-03T17:11:00.003-06:00

Yes, I'm still knitting away around here, even though its summer and it seems like a winter thing to do. This sweater, called Baby Sophisticate, was finished well in advance for Baby Kingston's shower (yes, I was proud about that), but I found myself sewing on the buttons the day before. I really hate putting buttons on. If you are on ravelry you can get the pattern for free here. If you are not a member on ravelry, you should be and its free to sign up. Although its probably not that useful if you never knit or crochet, ha.

I love this pattern and have a feeling i may make this sweater several time. I have some yarn to start one for Neve. I'm trying to finish my current project, but its hard to wait. It's so cute!

Tree Fort

2011-06-02T22:06:00.003-06:00

Kellen has always begged Dad for a tree fort. Dad finally decided it was time to build one. Kellen was over the moon excited. Dad looks perplexed. But, in a few minutes they were busy building.

3 days later, its nearing completion.

Kellen is planning a party for its grand opening. So, he'll be making sure Dad gets in shingled and painted soon.

Last night after our slow pitch game, we had the whole family in there eating ice cream. It's definately sturdy. The kids are already asking if they can have a sleepover in it. I'll be putting that adventure off for awhile. I am enjoying imaging all the fun they will have in there.

Kellen's teeth

2011-05-31T21:36:00.005-06:00

I think I was cruel to Kellen tonight. I didn't really mean it. I found the kids eating crackers in bed and I was super frustrated. After lecturing them about not getting food without asking and to never have crackers in bed, I also added that "you had already brushed your teeth!"

"ahhh, no, we have to brush our teeth again," Kellen exclaimed. Still feeling super frustrated with the long bedtimes we've been having, I answered loudly, "no way, you already did that once! Too bad, now the sugar bugs will eat your teeth tonight!" That was followed by lots of wailing from Kellen. Oh, his poor teeth!

"my teeth will all be gone?!" waahhh! I told him I was just kidding as I rolled on the floor laughing.

"You mean just some of them will be gone?" wahhh!

It would have been quicker to just let him brush his teeth again than the time it took to reassure him that I truly was kidding and his teeth would all be there in the morning. Sheesh!

Friday Reflections

2011-05-27T14:44:00.004-06:00

I love rainy days. We went to story and rhyme time at the library. Dropped off the very excited big kids at Betty's to play with their friends. I read and had coffee in a quiet house this morning. And this afternoon I've been getting stuff done!

I learned if we stay out till midnight, the kids will sleep in. I also learned, its hard to get out of the 'late to bed, late to rise' routine. Crokinole at Sheena's was worth it though.

I hope we will soon get some dry weather so I can finish planting my garden.

I am looking forward to a special baby shower tomorrow. Just finished sewing on buttons of the sweater for the special boy.

I enjoyed many moments this week - especially adventuring up the hill to the flagpole for lunch with the Cochranes.

I will always love this special picture from this week.

Recipe: Baji Dhal

2011-05-25T23:08:00.004-06:00

I've got a new fast supper favorite - East Indian Spinach and Lentils. Thought I'd share, in case you are looking for something new. It's from Extending the Table by Joetta Handrich Schlabach - thanks so much Kathy for letting me borrow! I am loving it. Don't judge it by its appearance. When I set this on the table, Kellen announced he was not going to eat it. I thought we might have a fight, but he took his required bite. There was a surprised look on his face, "mmm, this is really good Mom!" He polished off his entire bowl!

Here is my slightly altered version:

In a large pan, heat oil and cook 1 large chopped onion. Add and cook for about 30 sec. 4 minced garlic cloves, 2 T chopped ginger root. Stir in 2 tsp whole cumin seed, 2 tsp curry powder, 1 tsp salt. Add 1.5 cups red lentils, 4 cups chicken broth (or use water as the original recipe called for), 2 large diced potatoes, and several large handfuls of spinach. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer until potatoes are tender.

Happiness

2011-05-19T23:06:00.003-06:00

Happiness is a big round satisfied baby tummy... ...and a super sweet girl...

...with big beautiful eyes.

Tender tears

2011-05-18T23:51:00.004-06:00

I sit here with tender tears tonight. Listening to LullabiesforGetty and thinking about my blessings and remembering that some parents are in situations that leave them brokenhearted. I complained today for the busyness in my house - I got interrupted when I was on the phone, while I tried to clean up the meal, while I tried to feed the baby, when I just wanted to check facebook, when I was in the shower... I just wished I didn't have to help anyone and that no one was talking to me for a moment. I wanted to have time for some things that I enjoy. Now I feel ashamed that I would complain. I am embarrassed that there are many who would wish to be in my position. I wonder how I could think that having time to myself would make me more joyful than being in the moments I was in.

My kids were so thankful I made them their favorite breakfast. We got busy in the garden. Kellen was so thrilled that he has his own designated box to plant and take care of. When they weren't helping me, there was happy chatter in the sandbox and from the swings.When it was time to water the newly planted seeds and they requested swimsuits for a waterfight, the "yes" answer brought on incredibly excited, happy squeals and a flurry of activity. I washed my dirty hands and picked up my camera. I had a hard time capturing pictures of my active and healthy children while they played with gusto.We trekked to the library with Kellen on his new big bike, Lanelle pedalling her trike (a brand new skill for her), and a completely happy and alert Neve in the stroller. They were over the moon about making the "super best banana boat" snack.

Looking back at the moments of the day, I realize I took them for granted. Sure, I enjoyed them. I was happy to be in the garden. I laughed lots with the kids during the water fight. But tonight while I think of what others are facing, I realize how very extraordinary it is to be so blessed. I want to feel more than just thankfulness for their kisses and hugs, for their healthy bodies and minds, and for being their mom. I want it to be enough. I don't want to find myself grouchy about folding another load of laundry. I don't want to daydream about having a day by myself. I don't want to think about what I will do when they are grown up. I want to remember that having a day with them - even with all the interruptions, messes, and frustrations - is the perfect place and the only place I would want to be.

Friendship

2011-05-17T14:10:00.001-06:00

So many moments and events that I have meant to share/document here. And, like usual time slips away on me and I get overwhelmed. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the volume of what I might share. Sometimes I shut down when I think about what might be appropriate to share in this fairly open public space and how it might me perceived. But, I'm going to try forget those thoughts and just share what might be in my thoughts today. If you stop by here, you'll probably run into some randomness as I just take the time to remember the good things in life. I need to do that, because it make me better. So, a good place to start is here. I got to catch up with my friend, Julia. I got to see her farm, chickens, and pigs. I watched her get married. I saw how happy she was. I saw how good she is loving husband and her son. I watched her make the most of her moments and be totally joyful. She is amazingly talented. Being with her inspired me because of all that she is and how she is choosing to live. I am so thankful for friendship that helps me live my life better. I am thankful for how God orchestrates things. I don't believe it is chance that I have met certain people and developed friendships that have influenced who I am. I know that He has given me friends that i need to help stretch, grow, and inspire me. Its not really something that I tell my friends - how they have helped to shape me. But, I know it is true. I am thankful for my friendships. Thank ~you~ for your friendship.

Starting

2011-05-13T14:27:00.002-06:00

Kellen and I started lots of our seeds indoors this year - squash, cucumbers, tomatoes, broccoli, kohlrabi, fennel, and several herbs and flowers... I meant to do this last year, but never accomplished it. Now that we've had so much fun and success this year, I think it will be a yearly project.

Lately I've been feeling a little stuck. I find it easy to make great plans and have good intentions. I get frustrated that carrying out my ideas is so hard. Sometimes being unsure when its a new idea can make it hard to start. Sometimes its just laziness. I think most often for me its feeling overwhelmed and not being sure where to start.

Today, the big kids have been over at Betty's for a birthday party and I've had time to reflect, clean, do errands, and even scrapbooked for a bit (though of course not long enough!). Even with just Neve the day is going by much to quickly. Oh, dear, I'm complaining about time again (I really started with the intention of NOT doing that.) I think I've got a few small strategies to help. And, I do mean SMALL strategies.

I picked up 2 swiffer dusters. I hate dusting and I do it rarely. It shows and then it bugs me - sometimes. I think the kids are going to think their dusters are cool. (Thank you Holly for the idea!) They are going to help me clean more often. Which brings me to small strategy #2. I also picked up 2 rolls of tickets, one roll is blue and one is pick. The kids are going to collect these tickets for helping, cleaning their room, putting away toys, for being kind, for listening... They can them redeem them for little privileges such as computer time, gum, a movie, ice cream store trip, a date with mom or dad... I am going to make up a chart that will break down what will earn tickets and how much things will "cost". I've thought about this for awhile and think I can make this work. I'm hoping it will cut down on computer time issues and on poor helping.

So today I may not have figured out how to make things run smoothly or to have more time for projects I want to do. But, I've got a start on something that will help. I have also decided that it is important for me to remember at the end of the day what I have accomplished instead of dwelling on what I haven't. I'm thinking of stopping by here to take the time to do that. But, we'll see if I get that idea of the ground...

Looking at my plants that are growing so well and ready to be planted outdoors now makes me excited. They make me think of possibility, growth, and all good things!

All About Lanelle

2011-04-20T14:19:00.003-06:00

Because we don't want to let the middle child feel ignored,
because I have so many pictures of her lately,
and because she is just so cute.Not that this one could be ignored,
she makes herself heard when she wants to be. She has a nap on the front lawn if she wants,
because she doesn't want to come in,
and its so warm laying in the sun.

There once was a girl,

who had a little curl

right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good

she was very, very good.

And when she was bad she was horrid.

Okay, I may not remember that poem quite right, but it came to me when I saw her little curl at supper one night (and we laughed, because she was being very close to the horrid description).

no hope?

2011-04-02T17:47:00.002-06:00

I see that there is no point in hoping my boy will not be a hunter. If you can see, he found a pack of batteries and a screwdriver and made himself a gun. I mean, who wouldn't think to make a gun if you saw those items?!! Not to mention that his room is now decorated to inspire him. Yep, I'm afraid there's no hope.

The Unseen

2011-04-01T14:56:00.000-06:00

Being a stay at home mom this year is wonderful. I am learning to do it better. Somedays I feel that all I did was clean, feed, tidy up, laundry, clean, do dishes...and on and on. I had come to a place where I was being very aware of how much "maid work" I was doing, because it is never ending. So I tried doing it less often. But, letting things get out of control is not fun, especially when you are living in it everyday. So, I felt stuck in a cycle where there is no solution. I'm figuring it out, slowly, maybe I am. This post by an amazing lady has helped me in just the way I needed. It gave me more words to what I've been thinking about. This morning when getting ready for the playgroup to arrive, some of her words came to mind. Focus on the unseen. Let go of the idol of "the seen". My house doesn't have to be super clean. Crumbs, dirt, dust bunnies are all just a part of life. So, I stopped what I was doing. I went to where I kept my Kids of Integrity plan (which had almost been completely abandoned). Glancing at it, I was reminded of the next activity I had wanted to do. Then it happened, the perfect moment for that exact lesson I had just glanced at. I asked my kids, who kept turning on the water in the tub, to not run anymore water. I heard the very ugly words come from their frustrated mouths, "Fine then, we don't love you." I got the dead houseplant and used the analogy of how we need to "water" people with kind words. Look at what happens when a plant doesn't get water and imagine what happens to a persons heart when they don't get "watered" with kind words. So, I was glad that they got the lesson. I loved when they were asking later in the day, "is that watering you?" And, I was glad that I got a lesson reinforced - being able to focus less on the seen and more on the unseen will bring us blessings.

Nevey and knitting

2011-03-28T13:48:00.006-06:00

This sweetheart seems to be called Nevey more than Neve lately. Interestingly, I notice we mostly only use Nevey when speaking to her. When we speak of her, its still Neve. She's smiling and cooing a lot more regularly now, which makes everyone in our house fall more in love with her. I love seeing some personality coming out. She's getting more demanding about being held. The swing is just not cutting it anymore.

These are some of her 2 month pictures. I'm not doing very good at taking lots of pictures these days, but I'm going to try my best to take these monthly pictures.

We brought Kellen's friend home with us after pre-K one afternoon. He was very taken with the baby and wanted to check out her bellybutton - and he giggled and giggled about it. Kellen kept saying lets go play now, but he wanted to stay with the baby he said. So sweet!

Finished Neve's second sweater on the weekend. I was sewing on her buttons in a meeting, I just couldn't wait to have it all finished. I am pretty patient about a new project, but the closer I get to finishing it, the more obsessed I get. I get so excited to see the finished product.

I've been compiling a list of life lessons that are knitting related, so you'll probably hear some of those soon. Ian says I'm more obsessed about knitting than he is with any of his hobbies. Scary if that may be true.

Sweet Dreams

2011-03-17T13:48:00.002-06:00

Because everyone will celebrate with me...Neve slept from 8pm - 7am straight. Hoping it is a new trend! I was in the city trying to do a long list of errands and shopping. I was wondering what her problem was and why she wanted to nurse so often. I guess she was getting ready for her big night!

Quick thoughts in point form.

2011-03-14T14:13:00.002-06:00

Kellen has taken off with skiing. Up the tow rope and down the bunny hill by himself. Was super excited to go up the chair lift with Dad!
Yesterday was our anniversary. Some friends watched the kids while we went for a xcountry ski together. It was a beautiful day and a great ski!
I am excited to begin another knitting project, so I'm trying to be quick here.
Neve is having much longer awake times during the day and evening. She's content and even smiley sometimes. We all love her!
Lanelle is pooping on the potty! (Yes, I just wrote that. It's too exciting not to share! And, yes, I think it is LONG overdue.)
I asked Kellen if he knew where dad was. He said "He's on the computer. Looking at guns at Cabelas." "How do you know Kellen?," I asked. "Oh, I just know." Well, he wasn't. But, that answer says a lot about where Ian spends his time. That answer made me giggle for the rest of the day.
Last week was super busy - Stamp club, playgroup, make and take playdough at school, story and rhyme time, parent day at pre-K, gym night, caregroup, friends for lunch...we were on the go all week. Super fun. Yet tiring.
I want more hours in a day. Or to need less sleep. Because its all so fun.

LEGO Lava Dragon

2011-03-06T20:19:00.001-06:00

We've had a lot of this going on in our house...

(kids wanted me to take a picture of how they trapped my guy with lava blocks, they thought they were so funny!)

We bought this game for Kellen for his birthday. I thought it was maybe silly, since they game says for 7+. But both kids LOVE playing with a few reminders about where they can move next. The overall concepts they get - especially that the goal is to get to the top of the dragon first so they can fly off on him!

Neve's 4 Season

2011-03-05T18:55:00.004-06:00

Still enjoying our quiet weekend. I finished Neve's first sweater, which is from a pattern called 4 season. It's kind of big right now, I made the 3-6 month size. I wished I would have been more patient to get some grey wool that I was imagining, but I like it. It's got more interesting color in it when seen up close than just the dark green you see in the pictures. And, its such an easy, quick knit that I might just make another one. When I was trying to get her attention, she started smiling for me! I've been able to get her to smile a few times and it makes me fall in love with her even more. It was hard to get a good picture, with all the effort it took on my part to get her to smile! If she saw the camera, she wouldn't smile. But, I was so happy to finally capture some of her first smiles.

And then, she'd had enough of the crazy lady in her face!

Me & Neve

2011-03-04T20:39:00.002-06:00

Neve and I seem to get lots of one on one time, seeing as I'm her only food supply. The other 2 however, love to be off with Dad. Lanelle is especially enjoying this new way of dividing up. She used to hate to miss out going with Daddy and Kellen when they would go off to do errands in the city. This weekend the big kids and Dad are off to the farm for curling and cousin time. I was prepared for some busy crafting and organizing time. I started by tackling the junk drawers (that was a serious job after 2.5 years of unlimited collection). As that wrapped up, Neve got into some serious evening fussing time. Now, 2.5 hours later and most of the evening gone, I wonder what I was thinking. Umm, just because there is no one else speaking English in the house for the weekend, does not mean it will be quiet! Maybe I'll revamp my plans though and put cuddling Neve a little higher on my list, 'cause she is pretty special. my view of beautiful Neve sleeping on me, cuddled in the sling

Loving the Little Moments

2011-03-03T13:30:00.001-06:00

Kids always take great delight in little things. Something I think adults could learn from. Nothing more special on a cold afternoon than to love each other during a frothy milk making and snack adventure.

And laughing together

and feeding someone when they don't want to quit making frothy milk.

I can't make everyday as perfect as I would like it to be. But I can find the perfect little moments that I want to always remember!

Recipe: Chocolate Chip Cookies

2011-03-02T14:58:00.002-06:00

Kellen helped make chocolate chip cookies for his pre-K fun night snack potluck. He was such a good helper. So, I got him to help make them for his friends at his birthday party. And, after a thoughtful boy shared them with his mother, I was asked to share the recipe, so here it is:

1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup margarine, softened
2 eggs
1.5 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
3 cups flour
1.5 cups chocolate chips

Beat together sugars, marg, eggs, and vanilla. Add soda, salt, and flour. Mix. Add choc chips. Bake at 375 for 10 minutes.

Okay, I know these are not healthy at all. But they are delicious and simple. Sometimes though I wish I had never found the recipe. Tastebuds may love them, but probably not any other part of the body! (Oh, the original came in the recipe book with my Kitchen Aid, so if you have one, you may have already discovered these.)

Cousin Fun

2011-03-01T13:21:00.002-06:00

Having some cousins for a weekend made for tons of excitement around here. We are so glad Jeff, Jenn, Kayla, Nolan, and Ayden came to hang out with us. It wasn't long enough of course.

Everyone played together so nicely. Lanelle thought Kayla was just the best! She had fun playing dress up and tea party with her. Yea, for big cousins. Even the boys got into the costumes and put on a "play" for us. There wasn't much of a story line, but it was entertaining anyhow. Way to be a good sport, Uncle Jeffery the Caterpillar!

This was the transformer play as they "rolled out!"

Transformer attack!

It was so sad when they left, lucky we had a supper invite with the Koops' to help stop the tears!

Kellen is 5!

2011-02-28T13:49:00.003-06:00

Dear Kellen,
You are 5 already! You are growing so quickly it is hard for me to believe. You have waited impatiently for this birthday. You've been asking about it and planning for it since your last birthday. I offered that we could invite cousin Nolan for your birthday weekend instead of a birthday party. Somehow we have ended up having both for you!! You don't forget about things that you really want!

You are interested in most things that Dad is. You talk lots about hunting, bows, guns. You also are obsessed with transformers and Star Wars lego. Your friends are very important to you and you always insist that you need a playmate. You do play really well with your sister also. Lanelle listens to you when you tell her what to do when playing transformers or guns - she loves you so much! You are sweet with her when she gets hurt and give her hugs and kisses.

Sometimes you don't listen well. I guess its hard when you have so many of your own ideas, which you always seem to be full of! But, when it comes down to it, you are really good and listen quite well (even though some incentives have to be stated - like no bedtime stories or no computer time!) You are learning to think of others and their feelings more often, but sometimes it takes lots of direction. I love when I see you be kind to someone else!

I made your favorite breakfast, pumpkin pancakes, for your birthday! You said it was the best birthday ever. Having your cousins was super exciting!

The day after your birthday, you had your friends over for a party. You had said you wanted a firetruck cake - again! But, you were easily persuaded otherwise when I suggested a moose! Luckily Auntie Jenn gave you an animal cookie cutter set, which included a moose and squirrel, so my job was made a lot easier!

Kyle, Carsen, Ben, Ivan, Jake and Logan!! You were so excited for your friends to come and you all played so nicely! I was glad you liked my games and thought it was fun you had some of your own ideas about the party. You suggested the "Who Am I" game and you wanted to play spin the bottle to decide whose present you would open.

What a great birthday you had! We love you so much!

i like friends.

2011-02-17T13:56:00.002-06:00

I usually try to keep just family pics up here. I feel like I don't have permission to put others pictures and stories out there, but I was struck again by this moment when I was sorting pictures and can't resist sharing.

I love good friends. Where would I be without? I would hate to imagine. I love people who think of others. I was thrilled when a wonderful friend brought over her children and some "jewels" (frozen ice cubes with food coloring) to have a backyard jewel hunt with my kids. It was great for them to get outside and have playmates. It was great for me to know we were thought of during this time of adjustment. I know how great acts of kindness feel when they come our way. I would like to be more thoughtful (and creative) in showing acts of kindness to friends. Thanks Holly!

Outside!

2011-02-14T19:46:00.002-06:00

The big success of the day - Lanelle, Neve, and I walked to the school to pick up Kellen this afternoon! It was so beautiful out. I was going to say it was warm, but I guess that depends on your standards. It wasn't super cold at least finally. So, I dressed up Neve, put her in the sling and pulled Lanelle in the sled. It felt so good to be out for a walk! Such a little thing, but its probably changed my perspective on the week ahead!

These pictures were taken last week when it was super cold. The kids insisted the -30 windchill wasn't cold and played in the driveway and front yard. Lanelle got stuck in the snow, but by the time I went back inside and got on some boots she'd figured her way out and was quite proud of herself for it!

Precious Moments

2011-02-13T14:52:00.006-06:00

I really love watching Kellen be a big brother to baby Neve. He is so gentle and concerned. He is really interested in her and asks lots of questions. One topic of interest is what the baby's voice will be like. He often mentions wanting to know her voice.

I captured this moment of finding him reading a transfomer book to her and explaining who's who.

Cuddling Neve or looking at her sweet face usually gives me perspective at how precious this time is (even though I can't seem to get much accomplished and sometimes get frustrated trying to deal with the needs of 3 demanding kids at once!) Watching Kellen "take care of" his sister also reminds me to take notice of these precious moments. I look forward to knowing her voice too, but I am really enjoying this little babe and don't want time to go too quickly.

photo by Kellen

Lanelle's 3!

2011-02-09T22:32:00.005-06:00

Dear Lanelle,

You are 3! You are growing up so quickly. You are so full of personality and always making us laugh. You are so independant and demanding - which I noted about you when you were turning 1. You love to play rough and tough play with your brother. Transformers, guns, and trucks. Lately you are expressing your girly side more - you've been wanting to wear skirts, playing dress up, and wanting to do ballet. You love to color, do puzzles, and make up imaginative stories that often involve your favority character - Toothless. You love to talk and to talk VERY loudly. You like to be heard! On your birthday, you chose your outfit after pulling out all your skirts looking for one that was long enough. You wouldn't let me do your hair though. You hate getting your hair brushed. I loved the poses you did for me:You picked out a sprinkle cake mix for your birthday. We mixed it up together and made this fun creation. You LOVE marshmallows and were so excited to help cut them up and make flowers.

You were so excited for your party. You wanted your cousins - Arwen, Ivan, Dominique, and Emora. You decided to put on your caterpillar costume while you were playing and did not want to take it off! You had so much fun and were so happy with your special day! We are so thankful for you and for each day of your life! It is so beautiful to watch you grow.

Giveaway at Inspired Mama!

2011-02-03T15:22:00.002-06:00

I tried to order the book, One Thousand Gifts the other week when I saw it on In(courage) but ran into issues getting it delivered to Canada. Here's my second chance at Inspired Mama - which is a wonderful blog to check out for mamas!

Adjustments

2011-02-01T13:15:00.002-06:00

I've been wanting to document for myself about how we are adjusting to being a family of 5. I just never seem to find the time or know exactly what I want to say. Depends on the day or the minute.

Yesterday I felt like supermom and thought how easy this adjustment is going. By 10 a.m. I had showered, we were all dressed, beds made, breakfast was cleaned up, meals for the day planned, baby was bathed and sleeping again, I was reading books with the big kids, and I even had planned our week of Kids of Integrity activities. I went to bed last night with a clean house. Today, at 11:30 a.m. I was still not showered or dressed, the kids were not dressed, they had been playing computer/watching movies with barely any supervision, I had changed diapers too many times and Neve was on her third outfit of the day, been nursing/rocking/bouncing constantly, had no idea what was for lunch, was starting to feel frustrated because nothing was working out, and I finally showered while listening to baby cry.

So, I will try to accept whatever way the day goes, while I figure out how to manage all the needs in front of me. I have asked the kids a few times when I am tending to babe and both of them are fussing at me for something. "Hey, how many moms are in the room? How many kids? That's right only 1 mom for 3 kids, so you have to be patient." Kellen especially gets it and either quits fussing or will even make an effort to help. Which is nice, and also makes me feel bad for him that he is always waiting the longest for attention.

One more complaint before I move on to the positive - I miss this... the freedom to just get dressed up and get outside. I feel cooped up and miss being able to walk down with Lanelle in the sled to pick up Kellen from pre-K or to go the library and coffee shop.

But -

Neve has the sweetest face and her brief little smiles make me melt
Kellen is amazing to watch and listen to with his littlest sister. I have been delighted with the way he wants to talk to her, read to her, cuddle her...
It just feels right to be at this point, loving these 3 kids
I know how fast it goes. I may totally miss out on x-country skiing this season, but there are many more winters to come.
Spring is not far away, and everything will be easier by then.
I am so thankful for this time to be at home with my lovely 3!

Neve Lavine

2011-01-25T20:51:00.004-06:00

Neve Lavine arrived 11:37pm on Friday, January 21st. We all love her to pieces already. And Mommy is pretty tired, so I'll just leave these pictures...

All About Kellen

2011-01-16T13:39:00.003-06:00

We picked up Kellen a late Xmas present on the way through the city on Boxing Day. I really wanted to get him skis, maybe for selfish reasons. He's be talking more about hockey and which of his friends play. I would love the skip that whole rink scene. Before anyone gets uptight - yes, if he really wants to still in a couple of years, I will let him play. I'm just wanting to give him opportunity to grow interest in more family friendly sports!

We decided to start him off with a private lesson, hoping to ensure it was a good experience. I thought he would be more patient and less likely to get frustrated. I went out to take pictures with 15 minutes left and he started to take off his skiis when he saw me. The instructor convinced him to go a couple more times. I was feeling sad that he didn't love it and want to keep going. They finished and when I went get him he was a little frantic trying to get off his skiis and whispered to me with big eyes, "Mom, I really have to pee. It's an emergency." After that was taken care of and he'd had some lunch he had so much fun skiing for several more hours and wasn't in a hurry to quit at all. We were trying to do things right for a good first experience, but forgot about an important pre-ski bathroom stop for a 4 yr-old.

The next Saturday morning we found out that the bunny hill lift ticket is free for 5&under. Amazing to me that Ian can drive across town and chase him around on the hill for a morning for free.

Seems he is growing up way too fast lately. Interesting how my concerns
for him start changing. I can see how hard it will be as he continues to
grow and make more and more of his own decisions. I have been surprised at how he is developing worries and concerns. At Halloween he was pretty concerned before a party if the other kids would like his costume. He asked the other day "what if kids don't like me?" It's easy to say it doesn't matter, don't worry what others think... But, I realize more that talking to him about things like that won't make those concerns go away. I think its probably just part of growing up and figuring things out.

I heard this song by Carolyn Arends this morning and it spoke to those mother feelings I've been having for him...

From the moment you arrived here I've been utterly amazed
Astonished at your level of perfection
So it breaks my heart in pieces to imagine all the ways
You'll get hurt in spite of my protection
'Cause someday I'll have to send you like a soldier off to school
And the lesson you will learn there is that kids can be so cruel

So however well they like you and whatever grade you get
Promise me, baby, that you won't forget
Even the wallflowers do survive -- they can thrive
Even in the shadows
And there is a power in finding out for yourself
Rain or shine, whichever way it goes
Even the wallflowers grow

I hope they choose you early when the captains pick their teams
And I pray that they invite you to their dances
I hope it doesn't hurt too much the times you skin your knees
And that your heart endures its first romances

I cannot imagine anyone not loving you
But everybody feels alone at least a time or two
And I wish that I could spare you any heartache down the road
But maybe then, baby, you never would know
Even the wallflowers do survive -- they can thrive
Even in the shadows
And there is a power in finding out for yourself
Rain or shine, whichever way it goes
Even the wallflowers
Grow in soil that's watered by
Every single tear they cry
Believe me, baby, you will live
And someday you will tell your kid

Even the wallflowers do survive -- they can thrive
Even in the shadows
And there is a power in finding out for yourself
Rain or shine, whichever way it goes
Even the wallflowers grow

Getting Closer

2011-01-15T11:02:00.002-06:00

I am getting closer to being ready. Ready for a hospital trip now with a pair of slippers. Buttons to be added later. A super satisfying one evening knit, while I patiently wait.

New Years

2011-01-14T16:08:00.003-06:00

Guess I'm still getting used to the idea of January 2011. It's much easier to avoid the date when I'm not working. But, the New Years celebration is seeming like quite awhile ago. I didn't take many pictures, but here are 2 favorite things to share. The singing...
I missed some activities in the middle - trip to the farm, Andrea's birthday, curling with the Muirheads while I recovered from the flu that hit me just after midnight! But, I caught up with everyone in Estevan and had fun getting hair done at Angel's.

This was Lanelle's first haircut, which I almost didn't was going to happen. I was given the tip that it should not be called a hair cut, but a trim! Of course, for kids "cut" has a bad meaning, but I had never thought of that before. Anyhow, when she sat on my lap she settled down and got it trimmed! The ends were so horrible and tangled all the time, morning hairbrushing is much more peaceful now.

And she ended up LOVING the experience.

Kellen tagged along with all the girls and got his shaggy cut again

and had lots of fun too!

Now we've settled into post-holiday/no work life. I'm loving it and after a few days of complaining they were bored, the kids have also. It's been interesting watching Kellen adapt and learn to play on his own more! Pretty soon we'll be adjusting to big changes again. Baby's due date is today, but I think it'll be a bit yet and I'm okay with that.

Sweet Christmas Memories

2011-01-10T14:34:00.006-06:00

It was such a beautiful Christmas Eve morning, we ventured out with the troops for a walk down the lane...

...and some great tobogganing. Enjoyed by most - although Lanelle and Ayden were done with that adventure quite quickly.
They were soon ready for a warm up...
and for Christmas present opening!
Both my kids got spoiled. Kellen has been obsessed with his Star Wars Lego (which means I have spent too much time rebuilding it for him) and Lanelle will spend hours "cutting" her wooden fruit.

Lots of great memories at the Bell farm. The kids really didn't want to leave and shed many tears over the separation from their cousins as we buckled into the car and drove away. The only thing that stopped them was the news that we were on our way to the Koops' to continue Christmas that evening!

Object Lesson

2010-12-20T13:14:00.002-06:00

I'd like to give our days some sense of rhythm, so I had decided to try using the Kids of Integrity resource from Focus on the Family. I thought 15 minutes of a story/activity on a virture after breakfast every morning would be a great way to start the day. Last night I selected what I wanted to use, randomly choosing respect. Yea, Monday morning of my first week without work and I was feeling very organized.

I told the kids at breakfast that we will get dressed and then I have something fun planned. Before we all finished breakfast, Lanelle had got down and peed on the carpet. Grrr! I put her in the tub while I cleaned that up and Kellen wanted to get in too. Fine, they have a bath and I'll quickly do the dishes first. When I go to get them out I was horrified! They had dumped the whole bottle of my Euclan wool wash (I had washed my sweater last night in the bathroom and fogotten to put it away). It is not cheap! And they have been warned and punished many times about not wasting soap in the tub. It has happened more times than it should. They are not dumb, I know they know better! As, Lanelle later told Dad, "Mommy, got very, very, very angry at us."

Out of the tub, dressed, and assembled downstairs (in record time) we began. I skipped the object lesson. I figured they had made their own. We read and talked about the verses I had chosen - I focussed on the points of listening to your parents. On to the poster about what is respectful and what is not. Lanelle answered the first question of "what is not respectful?" with "wasting Mommy's stuff." She later added that peeing on the carpet is not respectful. Kellen really seemed to get the part about respectful listening. I had calmed down by the end of our "discussion."

I hope they don't create too many of their own object lessons. I think I am still looking forward to these little times together.

just for fun.

2010-12-19T14:33:00.003-06:00

making: lip balm with the beeswax I bought yesterday - hopefully this afternoon!
cooking: swisschard and potato soup - tonight
drinking: coffee - just finished the cup
reading: through knitting pattern blogs
wanting: to know if I'm planning for a boy or girl
looking: at my silly Lanelle watching the Dragon movie perched on the back of the couch
playing: with beeswax - soon
wasting: my precious afternoon - here
sewing: a could choose from the stack of pattern and material - projects planned and waiting
wishing: I could go cross country skiing this afternoon with Ian
enjoying: the current (and momentary) slow quietness in the house
waiting: to be done this little exercise to begin some fun
liking: the scarf I am almost done knitting
wondering: what decision will be made
loving: the idea of not having to rush out the door in the morning to work
hoping: I might have this baby early
marvelling: at how quickly my kids are growing
needing: to start working on some Christmas projects
smelling: ?
wearing: my only good fitting maternity pants - which I'm sure you know if you've been around me lately.
noticing: the clock is moving too quickly
knowing: this next year is going to FLY by
thinking: about pulling out the lip balm instructions
bookmarking: the cutest sweater dress I want to knit - in case I have a girl
giggling: at Lanelle's cute voice and expanding vocabulary
feeling: not as overwhelmed as yesterday, a little more thankful than 5 minutes ago, but still so tired.

Finished!

2010-12-16T21:57:00.002-06:00

I did finally finish my sweater! I was quickly sewing on the buttons before my ride came for a girls evening out to the Rankin Sisters. I love it! Wish I could have managed a better picture, but it was just me and the camera timer. I'll have to add another picture later - the teeny, tiny bit of wool left over. I was holding my breath the last little bit. I am also finished work now. Hard to believe! Today was the last day and it was actually kind of sad to walk away. I'm looking forward to the holidays and to getting into a good routine at home. Hoping this one arrives a little before the due date, but I'll try to just enjoy the time at home!